The Bridport Prize humbly claims to be "one of the top prizes of its kind - in terms of both prestige and prize money". It's an annual short story and poetry contest, judged this year by novelist Maggie Gee and (blimey!) Poet Laureate Andrew Motion. In recent years the contest has garnered tremendous attention; in 1999 they sent out over 250,000 entry forms. Which, taking into account the £6 entry fee, seems like a nice little earner to me, even if they are giving out ten grand in prize money.

Sniping aside, several previous Bridport winners have gone on to further literary success, so a win would be a handsome addition to your writing CV. And I especially like this other choice quote from their site: "The judges make their evaluations on the quality of the work alone. Nobody wins beacause of who they are, who they know or what their name sounds like."

So Oolon Colluphid, I'm afraid you've no chance. The rest of you, get your entries in before the end of the month.

The Bridport Prize 2005

Nick Jr had a great idea to make new nursery rhymes;
To cast aside those ones of death, for tales of modern times.

And so they launched a contest to give the thought some welly.
And fronting it, a bizarre choice; presenter Lorraine Kelly.

So pen a rhyme for kids today, to fit a new millenium.
And parents in the years to come might raise their young by telling 'em.

Nick Jr's Time for a New Rhyme

Our Holiday in France competition is over. The members of Great Writing voted in their tens for their favourite piece of work from across our categories. And the winner is:

The Grand Mother's Tale by kevinrobson73

For those yet to read it, this extended work is a scarlet raunchfest taking us into the mind of a out-and-out hussy. I guess we now know where your minds are at.

Congratulations kevinrobson73! We'll be in touch with you presently to fix you up with your week's stay at La Cahudiere.

UPDATE: Since I've locked the original discussion thead, the place to offer your congrats/venom to our shortlistees and talk about the contest is now here.

There's not much time left. If you haven't already, sign-in and visit our shortlist for the Win a Holiday in France contest. THIS IS THE LAST DAY OF VOTING, so be a good citizen and award your vote to your favourite work.

The thread where you can place your vote is here.

Actually, that reminds me. Spidey's phenomenally popular 100-word fiction contest also ends tomorrow. The prize for that one awaits you in heaven, but there's still time to get your entry in by adding to this discussion thread.

In a departure from the usual 100 Greatest Jimmy Carr Vehicles, Channel 4 have stolen thunder with what would likely otherwise have been the Beeb's writing contest for next year. The Play's the Thing is your chance as an amateur playwright (why isn't it 'playwrite'?) to have your work produced on a 'London West End' stage with 'leading professional actors' and helmed by a 'top theatre director'.

All in all, think Last Word or Last Laugh but for plays, and you're pretty much there. Damn, there goes the Beeb's chance to complete the hat-trick with Last Line.

The Play's The Thing (Channel 4)

I haven't looked into this completely, but it seems like the kind of thing y'all would be into, since it involves the chance to get your work published in an upcoming anthology, and there's a fairly high chance that it isn't one of those poetry scams.

PretendGeniusPress in association with fellow writing site writethis.com are set to publish what they're calling 'the greatest anthology of fiction and poetry since the bible', which gives you some idea of where their heads are at. Follow the link for more details and get your submissions in by May 31st.

fish drink like us

Bristol's Theatre West are looking for 60-minute plays from new writers as part of their annual Search for a Script initiative. They want your stuff in by June, and selected plays will form part of the company's Autumn season. Check out the full details on their site.

Theatre West - Search for a Script

I don't work for the BBC publicity department. Honestly, I don't. But anyway, the Beeb are running another regional comedy writing workshop to support the Last Laugh thing, this time in Leicester on April 30th. In particular, they're looking for attendance from Black, Asian, Chinese, and that other popular minority, Women. No, really. Full details after the jump.

The first phase of our holiday competition closes today, so make sure your work is published and scrubbed to perfection by midnight (BST) tonight.  Remember there's a week at Alastair Sawday recommended idyll La Cahudiere up for grabs. My tip would be to better your chances by publishing work in some of our sparser categories...

Win a holiday in France!

Computer game crazy website Kotaku is running a writing contest where you can win a Limited Edition Game Boy Advance, and I thought we'd help out their editor Brian by having a go. You just need to hop on over there, look back through his stories on Nintendo, and write 300 words about your favourite one. A shiny new Game Boy might be just the thing to help you procrastinate, or give to little nephew Jimmy, or - well be honest, it's for you, isn't it?

Win a Game Boy Advance at Kotaku