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Poetry


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Sons of Mars

By andybyers

02 August 2007

My poetry doesn't rhyme very often but a martial theme seems to call for it.

Sons of Mars,
hear my prayer
in rows beneath your banner there:
these ugly ducklings
you would seek
to beautify, but cause to weep—
you don't, by murder,
make them swans.
Just mounds to plant your standard on.

O sons of Mars,
the wounded sky
of that land has few tears to cry.
The muted skulls
you liberate
beseech you now to contemplate:
does memory linger,
faint but true,
you once were sons of Venus too?

Reviews

Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 4th August 2007

The rhyme and rhythm suited it I thought. (I did trip a little on the rhythm of v2line3) Liked this. Much as it ever was I suppose - much as it ever will be.

Phil.

Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 5th August 2007

Somehow - I hear a snare drum's tight rattle behind this.

Seems like a marching rhythm to me - I get the overall anti-war vibe - but not to sure what Venus has to do with it all - perhaps love-war, war-love dunno.

Not at all bad, but not a style or subject matter I would seek out to be honest.

Oli

Written by Fledermaus (3486 comments posted) 6th August 2007

Very nice indeed. Sons of Mars. I presume it's about Rome, or just about soldiers and mankind in general?
The "you liberate" line is a good one. It's funny to see how the Romans always tried to justify their conquests. They avenged themselves on the Carthaginians and the Greeks. They helped the poor Gauls and Britons and the conquest of Egypt was a pure neccesity. How different is todays Pax Americana from the Pax Romana?

"Battle-Him" of the Republic
Written by andybyers (181 comments posted) 6th August 2007

Thanks, Fledermaus... in truth, it's inspired by the war in Iraq, and addressed to the United States in particular. But as you pointed out, it's general enough in scope to be applied just about anywhere, anytime there's conflict supposedly waged against an enemy 'for their own good', which is, at best, a happy accident if it turns out to be true.

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