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Poetry


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First Light

By gedbackland

05 August 2007

Who'd Live In London

First Light

Every morning

She surveys nature

Notices where the birds have been

Wets her fingers with the dew

Looks for turning season signs

But too often her trance is broken

By a taxi’s barking horn

Or the ache of bus brakes

And she must leave her garden

On the window

In it’s oblong box.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 4th August 2007

Yurgh. It's bad enough living on the edge of a large town. At least from here I can see the hills from my window and I'm a two minute walk from a small lake/nature reserve.

The reveal and contrast worked well here. Poor cow.

Enjoyed.

Phil

Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 5th August 2007

I liked this. Pathos-laden.

The structure of it seems a bit arbitrary though (to me).

The stanzas don't seem seperated in any logical way - I may have been tempted to run it all together. But this is just a stylistic comment - and I, like everyone else, am still learning and refining.

Oli

Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 7th August 2007

I agree with Oli; this has a forlorn but well-captured pathos within which saves it from becoming simply observational. Love too its wide scope reduced to that oblong box.
A memorable read.

hm

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