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By Talisker
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05 August 2007 |
This has been turning in my head for a wee while.
Before the typo-spello maniacs get to work with their virual red pens -
THIS IS WRITTEN IN MY LOCAL ACCENT/DIALECT (WEST LOTHIAN SCOTTISH)
Ye left me shatturd
Ah might as well
Be in ma boax
Eftir aw that effurt
Furst ma edges -
The straight bits
Then right tae ma middle -
The tricky bits
Then
When thur wiz nuthin’
Left tae learn fae me -
Ye hud ma hale pictyur -
Nae challunge ennymair
Time tae go looking
Fur a wummin
wae a thoosand pieces
Oli 05/08/07
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Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 5th August 2007 | Liked this very much. Simple on the surface, but it has a depth a jigsaw doesn't. Loved:
Then right tae ma middle -
The tricky bits
Simply written, but with a simple power.
You're a cleverer man than I - to have fathomed a woman, even if she
only has 750 pieces!
The language suited me this morning. Been reading Irvine Welsh in bed with a cup of tea. Ear tuned in. (I guess there are subtle differences between West Lothian and Edinburg accents and dialects.)
I've said this before: you have a happy knack of of pressing my poetic buttons more than most - this was one.
All the best,
Phil.
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Written by madeupname (18 comments posted) 5th August 2007 | | Liked this alot cause Im a woman and I often feel sorry for men who have to deal with us. The accent was the icing on the cake! | Dialectic without dialectics
Written by patterjack (1430 comments posted) 5th August 2007 | I enjoyed this -- and I had no trouble with the language.
I wonder how it would translate into * Strine *
As long as you don't take up a chainsaw and make 750 -1000 pieces of the real lady .
patterjack |
Written by Fledermaus (3487 comments posted) 6th August 2007 | I don't know if there's a standard spelling for West-Lothian Scots, but if not, this is a very nice way to represent it. It's easily readable, but clear enough Scottish.
What often struck me about Ediburgh's accent (which I presume must be close to yours?) was that they have an ui and ij sound, just like Dutch, although these are probably hard to represent using a more or less English spelling. |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 7th August 2007 | Clever, effective and somehow immeasurably more charming with the addition of dialect which imbues the piece with a visceral feel.
A genuinely creative piece of thinking and writing. Hat's off to you.
hm |
Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 5th December 2007 | | My copmments are much the same as the others, but I do sense a deep sadness in your poem Oli. When things go wrong it is difficult to put together the bits within oneself. I know from experience. Best wishes to you - we miss you on this website you know. |
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