A nod to Archibald MacLeish.
The total output of my very brief (20 minute)modernist aesthetic period.
A poem should be touchable and cute
As peachy fruit
Succumb
As my eager fingers to her bum
Perfect as a capital B
Toppled through ninety degree
A poem should be flawless
As girl skin in it’s prime
Immune to age, invulnerable to time
A poem should be seen in silver light
Mooning sweetly in the depth of night
Unadorned, a poem never show
Against coach window in a contraflow
Nor unveil in precinct 2 a.m.
While one’s friends assail the ATM
A poem should mean
Not be
The steam that goes to heaven
From one's pee
Oli 09/08/07
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Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 9th August 2007 |
All in all, I think I'm glad it only lasted twenty minutes Oli. Nothing wrong with this at all, but your own style sings, shouts and cries louder, clearer, deeper.
Phil |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 9th August 2007 |
Although, there are definite Oli touches in this.  |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 9th August 2007 |
| The irony in this is that in many of your poems I find it hard to discover a clear structure, but they just feel right. This one itself for instance. The number of lines and syllables seem rather random, some don't rhyme where others do, and still, it seems to be what it describes, namely a poem. |
Agreed Phil...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 9th August 2007 |
Not great, but surely there's still room for silliness.
This "sprung" from a suggestion from a US friend that we should name our new poetic journal "Ars Poetica" - I explained the connotations of the phonetically identical word "Arse".
"Ars Poetica" - the art of poetry - as detailed by Horace himself, "Arse Poetica" - a poetical arse.
Oli |
Don't forget Ars Sophistica
Written by patterjack (1193 comments posted) 9th August 2007 |
My translation of the old bureaucratic saying -- Bullshit Baffles Brains .
Alas , there is a lot of bullshit written that gets past what Hemingway said every writer needed -- An inbuilt crap detector.
Some interesting challenges in this , Oli . I find a bit of e.e.cummings in stanza 4 , MacNeice in stanza 6 and if i push it , Joyce in stanza 2 .
Enjoyed on several levels lol
patterjack
PS Isn't there actually a journal Ars Poetica ? |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 9th August 2007 |
Certainly room, Oli. As I said, nothing wrong with this at all. I did enjoy it, especially lines 3 through 6 and the last four. I guess my other comment was a reflection of my admiration for what you normally do. I quite like Ars Poetica - even though it has a certain phonic quality in the UK.
I take it the journal isn't on line yet if you're still thinking on names?
Phil |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 10th August 2007 |
This is your second poem about poetry,Is writing about poetry the same thing as writing poetry?
It's for others to deconstruct,and the poet to construct surely?
Someone once said of comedy "Deconstructing humour is like dissecting a rat...no one laughs and the rat ends up dead"
People seem to be taking it seriously so it must be me
cheers
Jane |
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