I've noticed, in my correspondence,
that a lot of people in Britain and Ireland are spectacularly bad at
using commas where they're indicated... usually in addressing people
by name or separating interjections from the main body of an idea.
Not everyone, but enough that it bears commenting upon, I think.
With
apologies to BrianRobertNeal
No
I blame Oscar Wilde
This is apparently faux Spanish for “I
don't blame Oscar Wilde”. In English, the sentence would read,
“No, I blame Oscar Wilde.”
Spot
on George
Apparently, there is a spot on George;
of exactly what nature (ink, paint, freckle, cancerous) is not
disclosed. If the sentence were meant to construe that George had
gotten something completely right, it would have read, “Spot on,
George.”
Anymore
talk like that Friggy and you’ll not be spanked tonight.
Someone
seems to be imitating Friggy. If this were actually addressed to
someone named Friggy, it would read, “Anymore talk like that,
Friggy, and you’ll not be spanked tonight.”
Smutty
isn’t that Sooty’s Afro-Caribbean friend.
Smutty
is disqualified from being the friend of Sooty. If Smutty were
Sooty's friend, the sentence would require not a comma, but actually
a semi-colon (or even a question mark): “Smutty; isn’t that
Sooty’s Afro-Caribbean friend?” or “Smutty? Isn’t that
Sooty’s Afro-Caribbean friend?”
Come
on Nige gives us a song.
Someone
is being commanded to ejaculate on a person named “Nige gives us a
song”. A request for Nigel to sing would be, “Come on, Nige,
give us a song.”
So
come on husbands
People
should, it would seem, ejaculate on husbands. Wouldn't the wives
object?
So
if there’s no football on the telly well you might as well pleasure
the wife.
Whatever
a “telly well” is, if there's no football on it, pleasuring the
wife is indicated. If there's no soccer on television, however, the
sentence would be, “So if there’s no football on the telly, well,
you might as well pleasure the wife.” This is because “well”
is an interjection and is due to be separated by commas from the rest
of the sentence.
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well said
Written by fellpony (2924 comments posted) 10th August 2007 |
Nicely and neatly put, and to the point. I am sure the examples given will make the rules stick in people's minds. Hmm, perhaps "stick" is not quite the word I want? Anyway, a good, concise post and on a subject that is well worth the clarification.
Lawyers, of course, have a simpler answer, similar to that of those who don't like to learn the apostrophe rules: "remove ALL commas!" However, that means you have to write so that they are not needed.
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Commas
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 26th August 2007 |
| We need commas, capital letters and above all we need apostrophes and words which are spelt correctly. I went to school in the dark ages. We didn't actually have paper to start with and I learnt to write on a slate. (War years). However, I did learn all the above, plus nouns, adjectives, verbs and all the rest of the family. Then came the day when, as a college lecturer I was asked by a student with a degree in English if I could teach her where to put commas. I started off by explaining that she needed commas around her adjective clause, and she almost reported me to her parents for using bad language. So, how do you teach them where to stick their commas these days? |
Written by Keller (21 comments posted) 11th September 2007 |
My sister and I (having gone through schooling in the 80s/90s) are so frustrated/angered/bemused/astounded by the places we find bad grammar and/or spelling. In fact, we tend to take photos on our phones and send them to one another. I am considering carrying a large marker pen around with me for writing four-letter words on the heads of those who are guilty for the gradual decline and foreseeable death of the English language.
Alas, we knew it well. |
Written by CFG1985 (7 comments posted) 8th October 2007 |
Well said! I'm only twenty-two, so by rights I belong to the generation who invented "text-speak" (or should that be "txtspk"?), and am often mocked by my contemporaries for pointing out all the glaring and irritating errors in the use of the English language.
It's the incorrect use of apostrophes that bothers me more than anything. There's a sandwich shop in my home town called Nat's Snacks, and, frankly, I can't walk past it without feeling this burning desire to throw a brick through the window. I'll leave you to imagine the abuse the poor little apostrophe suffers at the hand of the eponymous Nat.
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Grammar
Written by catface (8 comments posted) 25th February 2008 |
| What I find especially annoying is, when someone is asking a question and never puts a question mark at the end! Generally, not putting comas in or starting new sentences when they should. |
Written by Diddi (87 comments posted) 17th March 2008 |
I write on what is a predominantly American site, commas are like a "red rag to a bull!" I am constantly chipped about my overuse of commas. For the sake of peace, I tend to use full stops(they say 'period' over there) and my stories end up similar to a Western Union telegram. It is sheer joy to be on a site where I can comma my little heart out. Now I just need to sort out the apostrophe mess I'm in.  |
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