I can hear you right now thinking that this is going to be one of two things: either a paedophile’s prurient peep through a bathroom window or a grandmother’s gooey cooings.

It isn’t either really.

I am indeed a grandmother but, contrary to received wisdom, grandmotherhood is actually none of my doing so I don’t take excessive pride in it. My two year old grand-daughter Naomi is fun, but her lively curiosity gets us too often into situations that remind me of all the things my body doesn’t like doing any more. Small doses are as much as I can cheerfully take.

The central character in this piece is actually a horse; specifically my Fell mare, Ruby. In my experience Fells are very maternal. Even the males seem to like small children, and I’m not going to make the joke about not being able to eat a whole one. They seem able to distinguish innocence, and they treat it with gentle care.

Ruby went to a show yesterday, and as per usual, my daughter Jen came to give her a bath a couple of days before. When the weather is dull and chilly, this is not usually an experience that horses enjoy. However, Jen set to and, since Naomi seemed determined to take part, she gave her a tiny brush and a mini bucket of soapy water, and let her get on with it.

Ruby’s nostrils were crinkled with her disgust at being washed in cold water. She was just dying to swing about and squash Jen against the wall to get rid of her annoying attentions, just as she would whisk off a bloodsucking fly. Instead, she was rooted to the spot, only moving her eyes and ears. The reason? Out of the corner of her eye she could see Naomi, crouching fearlessly by her feet and rubbing them with her little brush. No matter how much she hated being bathed, Ruby would not move in case she hurt the little one.

If you want to bathe a Fell, use a baby.

You might assume that next time Ruby saw Naomi she’d snort with anxiety that the child’s presence heralded a repeat. Not a bit of it. At the show yesterday, Naomi prattled and chuckled and played round Ruby’s feet and the mare just followed her progress with soft, gentle eyes. In the ring Ruby was all snorting fire, all spirit, power and presence. But when we came back to the horsebox with our prize rosettes, Naomi demanded to be held up by Jen so she could give Ruby a proper cuddle. And damn it if that mare didn’t wrap her head and neck around the baby and cuddle her right back. The grin of pure joy on Naomi’s face was something to behold.

I didn’t have my camera, so this will have to do.