“Dinosaurs are fakes,” Rev. Cottonwollop declared.  “They was carved by that Isaac Newton and then put into the ground by Alfred Einstein and Carl… Carl… what’s his name, you know, that TV atheist on the commie channel who was always saying ‘billions and billions’?  Kind of looked like Pete Rose if he didn’t eat for a month?  That guy.  They went sneaking around putting fake carved dinosaurs into the ground to be dug up by stupid, wicked people to turn us all from the Lord.”

When asked how he came to know this, Rev. Cottonwollop claimed to have seen actual photographic evidence of scientists burying dinosaur skeletons to be ‘discovered’ later.  When pressed to produce them, he admitted that he did not actually posses these imagines, but was “shown them, in a dream, by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.  And as you know, Jesus wouldn’t lie.  And anyway, even if I did have them, I wouldn’t show them to you because you shouldn’t need proof if you just have faith.  And I have faith.”

Rev. Cottonwollop summed up his statement by scoffing at the idea of evolution as a mechanism to explain the existence of human beings and other animals, hauling out, yet again, the tired old saw of the so-called ‘missing link’.  “You see, the problem with those people is they ain’t never got no proof.  How do they expect anybody to believe that nonsense if they ain’t got no proof?  What, do they think we’re idiots?”