This wee item is based on a true story I read in the newspaper over the weekend. The story made me really angry - the one in the newspaper, not this one just written! Hope you enjoy.
Justice Is Served
Strathclyde Police were left red-faced yesterday when the High Court threw out their case against the so-called 'Balornok Bombers'. The lawyer for the defendants, Mr Nick Yerdoe, pointed out - 3 minutes into his defence - that the Police had in fact put the wrong address on the search warrant, therefore rendering the search of his clients' premises illegal and the subsequent alleged bomb-making materials inadmissible as evidence.
A spokesman for the Police force, Detective Inspector Boyamma Beelin, made the following statement:
‘Strathclyde Police would like to apologise to the defendants for our illegal search and for the confiscation of their bomb - sorry, gardening materials. It seems we applied for a search warrant for the address 112 Philbert Street when we should have asked for the address 112 Filbert Street. The officer responsible for this regrettable mistake, my esteemed colleague Sergeant Phrederick Pharnsworth, has been inconsolable. We cannot apologise enough to the defendants for the stress and anguish we have put them and their families through.’
The Daily Record tried to elicit a comment from the defendants but they were hoarse with laughter. Their lawyer, Mr Yerdoe did have this brief statement:
‘My clients are relieved that their ordeal has finally ended and that they can now get back to tending their allotments. It has been a stressful time for these three men and, for the ordeal they have been through, they have instructed me to sue Strathclyde Police for the sum of £5 million. This is a small sum compared to the months of fear and stress they have been living with and will go some small way towards buying bigger bomb - sorry, allotments.’
When asked if he would be representing the three men when suing Strathclyde Police Mr Yerdoe replied ‘Unfortunately not. I’ll be out of the country for the next few years; I’d rather not be around when those allotments go off.’
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3370 comments posted) 16th August 2007 |
Liked the ending, gave it a nice surreal quality. You highlight a good point. I don't know who it is who makes our laws now, but I wouldn't mind the name of his dealer
Jane |
Written by jimbo (83 comments posted) 19th August 2007 |
Thanks, Jane. The whole thing (the change from prosecuting criminals to protecting their human rights) has gone too far, in my opinion. Sure, by all means ensure - to the best of the systems' ability - that no innocents go to jail ... but to let criminals walk our streets because a street name on a warrant was incorrect ...?! I mean, in the case I read of and mention in my introduction, there was £150,000 worth of illegal substances (drugs) found in a flat ... but the guilty parties were released because the address on the warrant read ' ... Court' instead of ' ... Street'!
Just insane, huh?
Anyway, thanks again for your kind words. I'll get down from my soapbox now. 
Cheers! |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3370 comments posted) 19th August 2007 |
Well,Jimbo, I think the real danger of the point you make is it can affect reasonble liberal people to the point where they start align themselves with more oppressive right wing agnendas. I know when I read stuff like that I start to use that hated phrase "Political correctness gone mad" and all the good things that PC has brought in then gets tarnished and discredited. I find that highlighting these things in a humourous way as you have done here is the best way to get the message across,laughter is always subvesive.
Anger is often a spur to the best humour.
Jane
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Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 23rd August 2007 |
Yes, I can well believe the defendants would be hoarse with laughter! This shows just how bizarre our legal system has become. Like Jane, I enjoyed the ending.
Cheers. |
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