"This is terrible! Man, you've screwed it up. I mean, what.. what the hell was that all about?"

My heart was pounding as I talked to Mac on the phone about what I just found over the Internet. Thanks to Google, sometimes you get results you're never prepared for. My feet were ice cold and I was sweating as I stared vacantly on the computer screen in dismay and partial shock. I didn't expect a clarification or any justification from Mac to whatever the truth was. But, but it horrified and pissed me off at the same time. Internet is for discovering things you don't know. Indeed, sometimes it tells you things you never knew - the most profound secrets, truths buried deep down in the mound of hypertext.

Mac and I had been friends from like grade 6. We went to the same school and attended the same university. In fact, I had been so much involved with Mac that I dropped my biotechnology for management accounting so that we could hang around together in college. His house was just a block away so I used to visit him almost everyday. He liked me too and took me as the only friend. We really enjoyed each other's company. No matter it was sharing the latest Linkin Park album or discussing the new hot chic in college - we loved taking to each other. Our tastes were similar which was one of the main reasons I got along with Mac really well. Mac was charming, adept and congenial. He was popular with everyone. He represented the students' community and took to reviving many university policies. Guys worshiped Mac for his service and girls died for the six-packs.

Mac recently moved away from his parent's home and was living alone. He worked for a freelance lawyer and developed new relationships there. I had been too busy with my job so our meeting had reduced to like once a week. However we enjoyed whenever we were together. He told me how his job was and all the weird clients his lawyer received. We laughed and shared our thoughts. I told him how I'd been seeing a girl and thought about taking her out some day. He encouraged me to go ahead with the relationship. He always liked to see me happy and so did I. Of course we never met anymore for those "daily updates" but whatever the "weekly roundup" were like, it was worth it.

It was late in the evening when he IM'ed me asked for a coffee. I thought it was a good idea and wrapped my work and headed to the cafe where we frequently met. He was sad and looked sort of depressed. Whatever it was, good ol' Maxie wasn't feeling good at all. I went and sat with him and asked what was the matter. He was silent for some time. He finally raised his eyebrows and started:

"It's kinda weird but this has been going on for some time now. I'm into a relationship." He sighed.

"And you didn't tell me a word?"

"No, I wasn't sure. Maybe I thought it was just attraction, or infatuation. Or maybe there's something else going on inside me. I need some help to settle this down."

I found it quite amusing as why wasn't he happy. I laughed and exclaimed, "That's great news. Then why is your face like you're mourning?"

Mac ran his finger around the rim of his coffee mug. "I don't know. This happened so unexpectedly. I don't know if I ever wanted it but I think I'm in love."

"That's very romantic. Whatsername?"

"It's not .. I mean it's not 'her.' His name is Shan."

Pardon. What? Mac was seeing a guy? I was thrown back for a moment but immediately recollected myself and tried to act normal. "Um. Oh. Where did you meet him?"

"At the lawyer's office. He's facing trial on undue property acquisition suit. I know this is wild but, he asked me out and I don't know.. I said yes."

"Maxie. I respect your feelings. But are you sure you want to undertake a relationship like this? I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it's your decision but there are nicer girls out there, but... Never mind!" I screeched my brakes.

"No, I see what you're trying to say. That's the trouble and that's why I called you here. I'm not really looking for a relationship right now, and especially not a gay one. You tell me what to do."

I laughed and shrugged a bit. Then I looked up at him and explained. "Look Mac. This is not my decision. I'm not a bit offended because you're a great person. You're a great human being. Why are you asking me for help? You've mastered the art of handling relationships; I know you'll handle this one too. Shan must be a nice person, well, property acquisition and all that stuffs, but deep within ask yourself: what's so special about Shan? Is it because who he is? Is it because what you saw in him? Mac, we like someone because we see something in them. There's at least one distinct characteristic that makes someone special. Maybe there's something about Shan or maybe you're just attracted."

Mac interrupted me, "No, I don't think it's attraction. We did it. Last night, at my place, we had it done. And it felt great. I had not once in my life had that amount of pleasure. I don't think even Shan's just attracted. This has been going on for sometime. He wants to move into my place. He loved the corridor window."

"Oh. So you're already there?"

"No, I didn't mean keep this from you. I wasn't just prepared to talk about all this. But last night, we talked and he said his agreement with the landlord expires next week. So he needs to find a place quickly."

"Are you sure this is not for accommodation? You don't know guys out there. They'll do anything to get into someone's flat."

"No, Shan's not like that."

"What about the trial then?"

"I don't know. But I hear someone is plotting against him. That's what the papers say. I think he's innocent."

"Think about it man. I just feel something isn't right. Or maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps it's too early for me to pass a decision. You think about it."

"Should I let him live with me?"

"You decide that." My yell attracted other eaters at the cafe. I smiled at Mac to assure them everything was all right. As they went back to themselves, I convinced Mac that it would be a hasty decision. But he needs to do some research on Shan.

So we wrapped the session and headed home. Mac used a bus to his flat while I decided to take a taxi.

***

Few days later I had been surfing the Internet like I always do. Internet is my passion. I dig into many websites and try Google search on almost anything that strikes my head. Of course the encyclopaedia and movie database are always there for my recreation. But that evening I was trying to look up some friends from school. I could identify my close ones that made me feel very happy, and a bit nostalgic too. Then there was Mac. What a lean teen he was in school. It was only after high school he started working out and achieved a figure every guy dreams about. I almost forgot he wore glasses too. What a pity he used to be! I tried his personal website like but that wouldn't work. So I traced his email address to Google search and received enormous amount of search results, 1,43,564,445 to be precise. No all the Maces were him but there was a link that directed to a message board run by some freakish homosexual group.

"I can't say how much I love him. He is probably the best thing that's ever happened to my life. I met him as my boss's client and we shortly started going out. Soon, our relationship intensified. It was a warm summer evening when he kissed me for the first time. I vividly remember his warm breath rolling over my lips. He was such a great kisser. For the first time, I felt like I had found true love. I had always been told about the princess who would come into my life and breath life into my heart. Well, in this case, maybe it was meant to be a prince. Mr. S is such a great guy, there's no way I would let him go.

I talked to myself for hours. I looked up at the stars and begged them to help me decide. I read love stories. There were butterflies hovering in my imagination and birds singing into my ears. I never dared to propose to a girl and here I am, intimately caressing my fingers over a guy's naked chest. I hold him by my arms and caress his sleek hair. His company is melancholic in every ways. He laughs with me, talks to me and stands by me when I need a friend. To him what matters the most is me, and just me.

I can't think of having a relationship with anyone except Mr S. I think my life has found a new direction. I want to be with Mr S forever for the rest of my life. We already live together and every night, he gives me the pleasure I never got from anyone. We weld to each other for hours and he's got great moves too. He kisses me all over, sends tickles over my skin and it's almost euphoric when he holds my thing in his hand and slowly takes it in him. His mouth is like a baby's: almost no teeth at all. This is fascinating. This is great. I love Mr. S. I love him."

It was horrifying. It was Mac's gay life history. Why did he ever do that? Why would he write about himself? What's the catch telling the world that you lived with a man? Why would Mac start posting such an intimate piece in homosexual message boards? These groups are always crammed with phishers and spammers. It's so vulnerable out there. The message just gets forwarded to million other readers in matter of seconds. And no one really tells the truth out there. But why is Mac telling the truth inside out to everybody. This Mr. S is none other than Shan and I can relate to the words. These are Mac's words. I know the way he writes. But why did he do that? I wondered as I scrolled down the page. Mac's post had definitely become propaganda there. Other users of the board were laughing away, abusing and mocking the post. They wrote terribly bad things. Some of them even insulted Mac's feelings suggesting him to undergo a surgery, but first decide who wanted to be the "socket."

Deeply frustrated, I called him up on his cellphone. "This is terrible! Man, you've screwed it up. I mean, what.. what the hell was that all about?"

My heart was pounding as I talked to Mac on the phone about what I had just found over the Internet. Sometimes things you were never prepared for stand right in front of your face. My feet were ice cold and I was sweat as I looked on the computer screen in dismay and partial shock. I didn't expect a clarification or justification to whatever the truth was. But it horrified and pissed me off at the same time. Internet is for discovering things you don't know. Indeed, sometimes it tells you things you never knew - the most profound secrets, truths buried deep down in the mound of hypertext.

"I. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know about the message board. I am so pissed off at the moment. I don't even have the vaguest idea of what you're talking."

I gave him the address and asked him to browse the post himself. A few minutes later he called.

"I swear I never posted this. It has my name and yes, my story, but I never did that. Swear me anything and I will, but I never did that."

I was puzzled but it seemed like I just found a clue. "Did you say that's your story?"

"Yes. It was in my laptop." Mac paused for a moment. Maybe he discovered a clue as well. "Damn. Yes, it was in my laptop."

"Does he, what's his name, Shan, have access to your computer?"

"Yes. I leave it in the bed and my browser remembers my passwords. Do you mean Shan did.."

"Man. He's screwed you up. The world is reading it. Did you see how mean comments follow your story?"

Mac sounded like he had started to weep. "Yes. I do." He sobbed. "This man has ruined me."

"Damn. Is he still there?"

"No, he's out somewhere. I don't know."

"Alright. Now here is what I want you to do. First of all, delete that post. Just delete it. It'll go off the search engines in few days. Then when your Mr Shan comes back, kick him out of the house. Did I make myself clear? Just kick him out. Tell him it's over. If he disagrees, call the police. I'll be there in thirty minutes."

Mac agreed very depressed and was about to hang up when I stopped him.

"Give me your goddamn address!" I yelled.

Mac dictated me his address and I hurried off to his place.

***

I entered Mac's room. He was sitting in the couch and computer still on. He looked absolutely torn. I figured he needed some help. I sat besides him and held him by his shoulder.

"Look Mac. You were never wrong. You were never unfaithful. When you weren't sure, you talked to me and I said it's your decision. You made your decision and it's never bad on your side. We just couldn't recognise this man."

Mac looked up and started in a very low voice. "I called the lawyer's office. They lost the trial. Shan's been put into custody. They may charge him with 5 years imprisonment, at least. You were right, he needed shelter when the court confiscated his property and that's why he developed friendship with me. I had a house and I lived alone. It was a bingo for him. The court had trial today. He was found guilty of unduly acquiring his dead aunt's property. He in for at least five years and yes, the game is over."

"Are you sure now everything is fine? Do you think you'll be fine here alone? You can come over to my place for few days if you want."

"Thanks man. You're the best." Mac finally broke down into fit of tears. "You like me even after all this. You never ever for once felt like I could harm your character?"

"There's nothing wrong being a gay, or a lesbian, straight or whatever. You just need the right partner, a loyal friend who can keep your extremely private affairs. You met me in the cafe and told me everything and I never told anything to anyone. Why, because you trusted me and I must keep up to it. I must and I will. Every true friend will, except, except for those people like Shan."

"No. But your goodness makes you who you are."

"Don't elate me. You know me from Grade 6. I can never think of being disloyal to you. But guys out there will betray you. They'll mock you and make fun of your emotions. This world is a dirty place, especially that stinking place called the Internet. You just got to trust those who can be trusted. Unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes. Remember how I trusted that guy from the lottery in college and I ended up losing five hundred bucks to fake lottery tickets? It happens all the time. No problem, there are always better days waiting for you. Just look out. It isn't that bad after all."

Mac was convinced and he laughed. I ruffed his hair and patted him on his back. Things were alright now.

***

A few days later I was strolling in the campus when a girl came up to me and asked, "You're Mac's partner right? Mr. S, the guy he referred to in the story?" She asked out of curiosity.

Hell.