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Poetry
O it Rains
By uche
20 August 2007
it rained, and i remembered my sweetheart all alone, yet waiting at home for me.



it starts to rain, o it rains.

day will grow drawn,
without its sun;

birds will keep their wings,
without their tune;

night will frown,
without its moon;

crickets will keep their wings,
without their drone;

it starts to rain, o it rains.

we shall rouse flames
in our linked arms behind the panes.


Reviews
Mm!
Written by seaJane (23 comments posted) 22nd November 2007
I really like this, the economy, and especially the cadence of the last couplet. 
 
However one line doesn't 'click' for me - I see how it works in terms of the 'without' in the other couplets, but the word "drawn" has too many possible meanings to pull its weight properly here, I think: 
 
day will grow drawn 
 

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