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By maipenrai
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22 August 2007 |
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From the gates of the compound
I could see the flames in the distance,
the burning of the camps had begun.
the stench of burning flesh
drifted on clouds of human ash,
the night alive with screams and gunfire.
I watched as the burnt and blistered
struggled to break free of the killing zone,
helpless, apart from my tears
I could do nothing. |
Written by hutmaster (134 comments posted) 22nd August 2007 | Raw, brutal and honest, Bernie. A straightforward, no-holds-barred evocation of any number of holocaust-like scenarios. I like the humanity (and the realism) of the narrator when admitting in the closing lines his/her inability to deal with overwhelming inhumanity. Well done. hm | Written by stevetroster (1599 comments posted) 23rd August 2007 | Hello Bernie. This is a very grim, haunting view and; in my opinion, is one of your best. Richard the Cruel etc, are a nice aside but I have always felt that ‘Cruel World’ poetry is you forte. Were it me, I'd drop the last line and end with tears. But again, that is only my opinion All the best, Steve.
| Thanks Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 23rd August 2007 | Hutmaster and Steve for your comments. Steve you could be right re the ending, will give it some thought. Bernie |
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