My girlfriend lives just 5 minutes walk down the road from me ... which is why I was late for our date. I mean, I lay on my bed to listen to 'The Black Parade' and - brilliant album though it is - half way through it I was comatose. It was probably the game of footie at lunch break that did me in, coming as it did between double Chemistry and double Maths. (Those two subjects are currently being tested as the ultimate cure for insomnia ... or they bloody well should be!)

It was dad who woke me:

'Turn that bloody racket down, for God's sake,' he yelled from just outside my room door, 'I can't hear the news!'

Anyway, I arrive at Jennie's door, expecting her brother Sid to answer. (He was named after some guy who played bass in some punk band of the seventies. Parents, huh?) It was Jennie herself who answered.

'You only live 5 minutes down the road ...?’

'I know, I know. I fell asleep listening to My Chemical Romance'

'Yeah well, that'll do it.'

She ushered me inside. I decided to ignore her pop at my fave band; she wasn't really one for rock music, preferring instead stuff like 50 Cent and Kanye West. Crap, in other words.

I glanced around the hallway expecting to see Sid looming at me, yelling 'You ever lay a finger on my little sister I'll punch you so hard the TV repair man will get a black eye!'

He was a nice guy, Sid.

'Where's Sid, then?' I couldn't help myself; I had to ask.

'Down the pub with Billy Jamieson. Mum and Dad have gone upstairs so we could be alone. You bring some DVD's?'

I held up the ASDA bag.

'Sunshine and a pirate copy of The Simpson's Movie.'

Jennie gave me her patented glare; it could kill a rhino at 300 yards.

'Sci-fi and a cartoon! Wonderful. You're such a kid, Shaun.'

This from a 16 year old girl who collects Bratz dolls! What we boys have to put up with.

Jennie walked into the living room and I followed meekly behind.

'My mum said not to have the Surround Sound system too loud. Mrs Thompson next door still gets nightmares from when we watched Jurassic Park 3.'

Grinning inanely, I sat next to Jennie on the sofa. On the coffee table were two mugs of tea, a tub of toffee popcorn and enough rounds of toast to choke the British Army. I love Jennie's parents. On the rare occasions Jennie came to my house my mum laid on a litre bottle of cheap American Cola and a packet of custard creams between us. Still, Jennie’s parents both had jobs in local government whilst my parents worked in a local bottling plant.

‘You gonna put the DVD into the player then or twirl it on your finger and project onto the wall through your eyes?’

I sighed, got up from the sofa and opened the tray to the DVD player.

‘What you wanna watch first?’

‘Whatever.’

I figured The Simpsons wouldn’t get Jennie cuddling up to me so I put on Sunshine.

‘You’ll like this, it’s like a stalker ghost type film set in space.’

‘Whatever.’

Sitting next to her again I asked the question that had to have an answer:

‘Your brother hasn’t left any ... cameras or microphones hidden around the living room, has he?’

Jennie gave me a quick, poker-faced glance and I recognised that look.

‘He HAS, hasn’t he?! I knew it was too good to be true. Why can’t your mad professor brother trust me?’

‘It’s not personal, Shaun. Sid says teenage boys have only one thing on their minds.’

‘So what has he left this ... Hey! I resent that! I do NOT have one thing on my mind.’

‘THAT’S A LIE.’

I gotta admit; I almost shit myself. The voice had been pretty loud and it came from a little bitty speaker right next to me ... and it was Sid’s voice.

‘What the fu-,’ Just in time I remembered Jennie’s parents were right upstairs. ‘What on Earth was that?!’

Jennie grimaced then took my hand. I immediately cheered up. Then she ruined it.

‘Sid invented a speaking lie detector. Said that he’d prove you couldn’t be trusted.’

I was almost dumbstruck.

Almost.

‘And you thought that was a good idea? You went along with him?’

Jennie, to be fair, wasn’t looking too happy either.

‘What could I say? He’s my big brother. Besides, he said if you had nothing to hide then you wouldn’t be that bothered by it.’

That Sid; he’s a crafty bastard. What could I say to that?

Still, I had to try.

‘I’m hurt -’

‘THAT’S A LIE’

‘- that you could go along with this. I’ve a good mind to go home right now.’

‘THAT’S A LIE’

‘Can’t you shut that thing off?’

‘It’s tamper-proofed. Sid didn’t want you turning it off or talking me into turning it off ... Which he said you’d try.’

Oh, he’s a crafty, evil big bastard alright.

‘Jennie ... can’t we just talk about this in the kitchen?’

‘Why? Are you going to lie to me?’

‘No -’

‘THAT’S A LIE’

‘I just feel that two people should be alone together without having to watch what they’re saying!’

‘Maybe Sid was right.’

‘I’m not LIKE other boys, Jennie!’

‘THAT’S A LIE’

‘Okay, so I’m like other boys; is that a crime? I’m sixteen: what else is there to think about?’

Jennie was hurt, badly.

‘I thought you cared, Shaun.’

‘THAT’S A LIE’

Jennie was open-mouthed in shock.

‘Wait a minute,’ I said, thinking aloud as my mind went through the ramifications of this latest revelation, ‘You don’t think I care about you ... but you still want to see me?’

Jennie looked like she was calculating a few things herself.

‘It’s not that I think you don’t care -’

‘THAT’S A LIE’

‘- but more ...’ She glanced at the little bitty speaker ‘... I don’t care you don’t care.’

The silence was broken only by the low volume dialogue issuing from the surround sound system. I pressed STOP on the remote and both of us looked from the little bitty speaker to each other and back again.

Jennie spoke first.

‘I just like being around you -’ Silence as Jennie glanced at the little bitty speaker, ‘- and I’m hoping we get a chance to ... be together. If you know what I mean.’

Jennie blushed as her eyes opened wide and she pouted a little.

Dirty girl! I blushed at the thought girls thought like that!

‘Ehm ... I don’t know what to say to that.’ I admitted.

‘It was my idea - the lie detector thing.’ The lie detector was again silent. ‘I thought that giving Sid a project that would also give him a chance of getting you out of my life ... well, he’s out of our way, now. When he gets in I just tell him that you honestly care about me but just want to be friends.’

‘Yeah, like he’ll believe that. What if he uses the lie detector on you?’

Jennie looked like a crafty scheming baddie in a bad soap opera.

‘Trust me, he wouldn’t dare. I know things about Sid that even his mates don’t know ... and if they ever found out he’d be the laughing stock of the area.’

I glanced at the little bitty speaker. Little sis knows big brother’s darkest secrets!

I had to ask.

‘What do you know about him, then?’

‘Can’t say. The secret has more power if it stays secret. You understand.’

I did, so I smiled and took Jennie’s hand.

‘I think I could grow to care about you, Jennie.’

‘Likewise, Shaun.’

For the first time that evening I was happy to have a speaking lie detector in the house.

Jennie led me to the sofa again and we spent most of the rest of the evening kissing, passing the popcorn and ignoring the movies.

Too soon, it was 10pm and Jennie’s dad came downstairs. He had that terrible cough fathers get when they want to subtly warn of their approach; sounded like someone strangling a bullfrog.

‘Hi, Mister Campbell.’

‘Hey Shaun. You kids enjoy the films?’

Jennie and I looked at one another then both sort of shrugged and nodded.

‘Good, good. See you sometime soon, Shaun.’

'Goodnight, Mister Campbell' I replied, taking my ASDA bag from Jennie and opening the front door. 'Goodnight, Jennie.'

We shared an awkward hug, aware of Jennie's dad. I started to walk down the porch stairs.

'Goodnight, Shaun' Jennie said, smiling.

'Yes, goodnight son. Give my best to your parents.' Mister Campbell called from the house stairway. He turned to go back to his bedroom, saying over his shoulder, ‘Well, I’m back off upstairs to finish reading.’

‘THAT’S A LIE’

Mr Campbell froze, statue-like.

I left in a hurry, leaving Jennie giggling behind her hands and Mr Campbell still standing motionless on the stairs.