Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Edgar Allan Poe
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 2013 guests online and 8 members online
Poetry
Edgar Allan Poe
By Sinnerman_Pfank
27 August 2007


I recall the day so clearly, while I slumbered, or so nearly
O’er many an e-mail sent to vex or bore
While I grumbled nearly napping, suddenly there came a rapping
As of someone vainly tapping, tapping at my office door
"'Tis a colleague" I muttered "tapping at my door"
"Only this and nothing more"
As the tapping turned to grinding, I looked down and, thus, finding
Finding 'twas my computer with a fatal flaw!
Technology of trust so certain, had in fact gone for a Burton
A Burton of such distortions, proportions a Ludite would deplore
In fact, enough to chill them to the core
"%*&!!&* hell", I eloquently swore
There I sat in deep depression, accompanied by regression
Regression to a state a toddler would deplore
“IT support!” I mumbled, snapping, all the while ‘phone keys tapping
Tapping now to speak to those who gave advice like it were law
"And currently residing" I spluttered "on some distant shore"
"Only this and nothing more"
A voice then I heard so callous, dripping like some poisoned chalice
With such malice that it at my soul did gnaw
There I listened now resigning with willingness to live declining
Listened to clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer;
"You are in our queue" it uttered "of at least a score"…
And likely many more
Then beside me came a whirring, with my hopes of rescue stirring
Stirring at the site of files I thought I'd see no more
There upon my desktop, briefly, appeared my documents or chiefly
Chiefly of broad description, with encryption, I thought I'd lost before
Lost and thought to never see no-more
My heart leapt at the hopeful site I saw
Quickly I a disc inserted, before the useless thing reverted
Reverted to the broken state I'd seen before
Optimism replaced my feeling of suspending myself from the ceiling
As the precious files transferring, whirring, slowly found a safer store
"Let this work" I prayed "and I will ask for nothing more"
"Only this and nothing more"
But as the transfer slowly winding, battled with the system's grinding
Grinding slowly on despite my efforts to implore
At a moment I'd not have chosen, suddenly the screen was frozen
Frozen such that no fire of Hades could even hope to thaw
Perspiration now oozed from my every pore
Paralysis and perspiration. Nothing more.
Percussive maintenance applying, accompanied by wails and crying
Crying at my lost 200 gigabytes, or more
Words of encouragement I offered, further maintenance I proffered
Proffered even though my fist was now quite sore
Yet all injustices oh so regally I bore
Then there came a tapping at my door.


….to be continued

Reviews
Wicked!
Written by Faerieanna (25 comments posted) 27th August 2007
Really enjoyed this. Very clever and well done, made me smile! 
 
Can't really comment technically except to say that although the rhythm is clearly reminiscent of Poe's "The Raven" it does struggle in places, and could probably be tightened up a bit... Feel awful saying that because I'm not very good at that myself... 
 
Overall really like it, it does work well. The language is also a good likeness to Poe's (with some lines directly or almost directly lifted, nice touch) and is a good contrast with the subject matter which adds to the humour. 
 
As for the subject matter... who hasn't been there! 
 
Can't wait to read the continuation... Such suspense! Were the documents saved in time??? What will become of the PC, has it been reduced to rubble by your fists??? Haven't felt such suspence since the last season of 24!!! (lol). 
 
Welcome by the way (I am new here too), hope my comments are helpful, look forward to reading more! 
 
Anna x

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 27th August 2007
I enjoyed this. I like Poe's original - but there's always room to lampoon it. Have you ever seen the episode of The Simpsons that features The Raven? One of the Halloween specials, I think. 
 
Computers are enough to strike horror into the heart of all of us. Having to ask a geek for help is even worse. 
 
Good stuff. 
 
Phil

Written by Sinnerman_Pfank (17 comments posted) 28th August 2007
Thanks for your kind comments - my very first posting, too! Much appreciated. 
 
I wrote this in the garden one sunny (and very winey) afternoon a few weekends ago. To be honest, the combination of sunshine and alcohol rather did for me, to the point where I was in no fit state to finish it! I know where it's heading, though, I just need to get 'round to writing the second half. 
 
Thanks again. 
 
Sinnerman
Edgar Allan Poe
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 29th August 2007
I enjoyed reading this too and thought you had done it very cleverly. I also love rhyme and rhythm in my poems (as I expect you have seen). It really is difficult to get it absolutely right, but worth it. I like Edgar Allan Poe's works also. I would only suggest one thing which would have improved your poem: It needs to be broken into verses I think. Far too long, line after line after line with no break. Other than that, excellent. Welcome to the "rhyming poets of the website". ha ha

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item