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Poetry
Anatomy
By margarita
28 August 2007

This is a new little piece still in progress etc. my first day on the site I'd thought I'd put up something fresh!


The subtle nipple
Slipped away
-------A stealthy, sloping streak over the hill.
The unassuming eye was blinded
A little musle began to twitch and the darkness began to sway in time with the rhythm
Of all the nerves and cells.
the fingers shook the worst
Like they were playing some ghostly piano-
What madness those wild keys unlock!
The back was lost- balancing the spine on a retired elbow
One sweaty palm pasted itself to such a furrowed brow-
--------Arrested, defeated,
but utterly optimistic...

Reviews
hmm
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 28th August 2007
Lots of sounds and images coming to mind here, not sure what the --------s are really there for? Oh and, call me a hypocrite [i'm terrible for this! =/] but spellcheck before you publish so no deciphering is necessary! 
 
Love the idea of the darkness moving with the rhythm, that's a great line, but you could break it up if you wanted to. There's another great line in "balancing the spine on a retired elbow" =)  
 
Work in progress? Looks like you're right on track 
 
clo

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