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Comedy


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Corporate Culture in verse (part 2): Interview for a worker

By Sinnerman_Pfank

28 August 2007

Evening All

Companion piece to "interview for a manager"

Sinnerman

“We should have noticed much sooner
All hold up our hands, I know I will
Admit we should have spotted the omens
That this candidate had exceptional skill
The superb C.V.. The outstanding reference
Was someone trying to send us a sign
When we all sat down to dinner
And he turned our mineral water to wine?

Interview day was very similar
And I felt somehow we weren’t alone
Cloudless skies greeted his arrival
The whole day had a mystical tone.
A white dove hovered above him
During this guys tour of the site
And was that an angel I heard singing
As he was illuminated by a beam of pure light?

Superlative in 1:1 situations
Asked challenging questions all the day
State of the art technical knowledge
Said he was willing to work for no pay
Listened to the people he met here
The team all treated him like a god
Uses respect and empowerment
Rather than revert to the rod

International reputation for innovation
Good humoured, didn’t try to impress
Understated yet stylish and classy
Was the way that I’d describe his dress.
Mesmerising drive and motivation
Coupled to exceptional leadership skill
Has succeeded countless times in adversity
Purely through the power of his will

In summary, several issues to mull over
He’s not quite at our usual spec
Hiring might unbalance the department
It would require us to stick out our neck.
Yes, I know he also discovered the yeti
And I’m aware of his charity work in Sudan
And his well publicised success at SETI
But is he really a company man?

To see, let’s offer a short term contract
Say three months, that sort of thing
Didn’t he say he had several offers?
Well, let’s wait a month before we give him a ring"

Reviews

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 1st September 2007

"Said he was willing to work for no pay"
I can see union problems here, for staters, mind if he can do the water and wine trick the union reps might forgive him.
I preferred this one, don't quite know why. I thought it was a clever little piece with the obvious references.
I think it should have stopped at
"But is he really a company man?"
Given who you were referring to, it would have carried more of a punch at the end
cheers
Jane

Written by Sinnerman_Pfank (17 comments posted) 1st September 2007

Evening Jane

Thanks for the comments. The monlogues were meant to be from someone chairing an interview round-up at the end of the day, reviewing the candidate's performance with people who had been involved during the day.

(Actually, these two pieces were Jesus and the Devil being interviewed for job's in the modern corporate world!)

I seem to have posted these to the wrong forum by mistake - they should be in the poetry section - but I'm new here, so I plead simple incompetence!

Best wishes

Sinnerman

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 1st September 2007

I've been pleading that for years. It's taken a while to convince people but I pride myself my incompetence is now taken for granted.

Written by jimbo (83 comments posted) 11th September 2007

Yeah, I too preferred this poem to your previous 'Corporate Culture ... (part 1)'.
I wonder if you've though of presenting it as a short comedy sketch, with Jesus at a job interview: 'Two dates of birth, Mr Christ?!', 'Father's occupation: Supreme Being?!' etc.
Still, I really enjoyed this. Good stuff.
Cheers.

Jim

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