"Why do you write? What keeps you going?

Folks, this has been on my mind for quite some time. You all like my prose, I can understand that, but lately, I've doubted myself. Why do I write? What drives me? I want you all to ask yourself the same question.

Now let's get started before my ego goes on a vacation and then I'd probably not write at all, does that mean my ego is what keeps me going? I hope that's not my case.

I like to think that I write voluntarily, I write because I like to express my feelings, desires and goals that I know I can't achieve otherwise. Like saving the world from all its troubles, I'm exaggerating a bit of course. For me writing is my own sanctuary, my own lair where I put myself into hibernation, although some bears consider that a waste of space.

Anyway, as the topic says, what keeps the writer going?
Is it the will to reach out to the crowd? Or to simply get attention? Or personal creative needs that needs to be fulfilled?

This is however an important thought and topic so I locked it in my jar of "important thoughts", unfortunately I had mistakenly filled it up with marmalade and without noticing I ate all my important thoughts who later, sadly, ended up being flushed away in the toilet.

I keep coming away from my topic somehow; I can't control my thoughts anymore. All I can think of is how I have been kidding myself for 40 years. Writing things that means nothing to others, but if they mean something to me, have I then achieved something of value?

If...."


(The manager opens the door without knocking, slamming on the doorknob loudly)

-Andy! How’s that prose coming along? You’ve got your deadline 13:00, in 1 hour that is.

- I still hear ringing in my ears! Why did you have to slam that doorknob so hard? God...ow.

-Sorry Andy, I was thinking about becoming a movie star, that's my take on the Kramer entering.

-Oh yea, I'm sure that'd bring the crowd to its ears...knees or whatever. I'll have the prose done in time don't worry.

- Andy check this out!

- What?

- "The Kramer exit!"

- Don't...

(The door shuts with a loud slam)

(Andy continues)

"If I write for value, am I then writing for the right cause? If I however write to affect other people, to inspire them but without value, just pure banal text, am I then a better writer because I am above value, to achieve a greater goal, in what I unknowingly fail at.

I have such lack of faith in myself, that each sentence seems to be better and better, but can one see objectively on ones own writing?

I'd say, if you can say " I write because I want to and nothing else " are you then the ultimate writer? You're driven by nothing but your own goals to achieve only what you want to achieve.

I know I make things much more complicated than what they indeed are. This is how I've always been. One time it took me half an hour to decide how to slice my tomato just because I couldn't find a reason why I'd want to, I almost began to start pitying the tomato until I accidentally cut my finger on the tomato's little twig.

I have to end my prose here, since I've reached my deadline. I hope I wasn't too delirious and that something will at least make sense.
Now I need at least two aspirin and a bottle of coca-cola.

/Andy - New York's Daily Prose"