Great Writing - Home > Scripts > Golden Gifts - Act 2
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 954 guests online and 10 members online
Drama Scripts
Golden Gifts - Act 2
By jean.day
03 September 2007
Now I will give you a bit of background.

First of all, I didn't write the first act. It was written by our Creative Writing group leader, Adrian,  - and all of us have to finish the play off. Then we will vote on which ending suits it best, and that will be the one we send into the competition. The instructions for the competition are 6000 words, or 20 minutes worth in total, and suitable for U3A play reading groups but should be able to be staged. The top 7 plays will be published.  

Most play reading groups in the U3A have no more than 10 members, as we meet around at each other's houses, but everybody likes to have a part. We tend to get more women than men.

Adrian started the second act, but I finished it off. I want to know if you can see where the join comes - hopefully it won't be obvious.

The point about the first act speeches being a bit long I will make to Adrian, but I can't alter his work.


Act II - several weeks later

Enter Cynthia carrying two bags of shopping which she puts down on the floor. Then enters Eileen Makepiece carrying a shopping bag. Cynthia whirls round.

Cynthia, (surprised): Who are you?

Eileen: I'm Eileen from next door but one. I'm a friend of Mr Pounder's.
 

Cynthia: What are you doing here? How did you get in?

Eileen: I've been doing some shopping for Mr Pounder. I keep an eye on him now he's been left on his own. He's given me a key so that I can come in.


Cynthia, (indignant); Mr Pounder doesn't need anyone to keep an eye on him.

Eileen: Funny, I've never seen you around. Who are you?

Cynthia: I’m his daughter, if it’s any business of yours. I’ve brought food for my father and I can assure you that between me and my brother and sister, we can take care of him. Thank you for your kind help, but you really are not needed here.

(Enters Mr. Pounder)

Ernest: Hello, Eileen, love. Did you get the things I asked you for?

(turns around and notices Cynthia.)

Ernest: Oh hello, Cynthia. You should have phoned to tell me you were coming over. It isn’t really a very convenient time. Eileen has gone shopping and is going to make me a special lunch, aren’t you love?

Cynthia: Father, how can you? Mother is hardly cold in her grave and already you are socialising with strange women. I really find this all very disturbing.

Ernest: One thing your mother’s death taught me, Cynthia, is that you never know when you are going to go, so I thought, I mustn’t miss out on any of the little bit of life that might be left to me. Surely you can’t begrudge me that?

Cynthia: Well, I expect that you will do what you want, no matter what I say, but having come all this way, and having brought you loads of groceries, I would have thought the least you could have done was to offer me a cup of tea.

Eileen: I’ll just put the kettle on. Won’t be a tick. (She leaves the room.)

Ernest: You were very rude to my guest, Cynthia, and I won’t have it. This is still my house and I will use it anyway I choose, and invite into it anyone I like, and it is nothing to do with you.

Cynthia: (looking carefully around the room) Where is that landscape picture that used to hang there, Dad?

Ernest: (looking a bit embarrassed) Well, I’ve taken it down to show to some friends. It might be a valuable antique, that. I just wanted to get an expert opinion on it.

Cynthia: But that was Mother’s favourite picture. She promised it to me when she died. (She’s on the verge of tears.)

Ernest: Now, Cynthia. Don’t let on so. She never told me that it was to go to you, and as you well know, since she didn’t have a will, everything came to me.

Cynthia: But now that you do know, surely you can get it back and give it to me.

Ernest: Easier said that done. Oh look, here’s Eileen back with our tea.

(Eileen hands around the  mugs which she brought in on a tray.)


Cynthia: Thank you. (testily)

Ernest: Thanks love. What would I do without you? You are spoiling me, aren’t you?

Cynthia: I was just telling my father, Eileen, that the landscape picture that used to hang over that chair is missing. It was promised to me by my mother, who might I remind you, has not been dead all that many weeks. Dad seems to think he might have trouble finding it. I wonder if you know where it is?

Ernest: Now Cynthia. I won’t have you brow-beating my guests like that.

Eileen: Of course I know. Ernest and I have joined the U 3 A - that’s the University of the Third Age, you know. And we belong to the antiques group, and Ernest took the picture to our last meeting, and the group leader was going to see if he could find out more about the painter, and when it was done and things like that, so we can find out how valuable it is.

Cynthia: You wouldn’t sell it Father. Surely you wouldn’t sell it now that I have told you that I want it - that it was promised to me.

Ernest: I find it very hard to understand, Cynthia, how you are suddenly getting so het up about something that you never once mentioned when you lived in this house, or any of the years since. As I told you before, that picture is now mine - and what I do with it is none of your business.

Cynthia: I can’t believe you are talking to me like this! I am leaving this moment, and I am going to talk to Renee and John and see what they have to say with the way you are acting. You are entering your second childhood and maybe it is about time we put a stop to it.  (She rushes out of the house.)

Ernest: Oh, I hope you aren’t upset about that Eileen, love. Did you get the travel brochures?

(She brings them from her bag, and together they pour over them and the curtain comes down.)

Reviews
Ahaa!!
Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 3rd September 2007
All becomes clear. The reason for the multitude of characters is to give lots of options to the various people who are completing the work.  
 
Never having been a member of a writing group I would never have thought of that. 
 
Right oh! Where's the join eh? I would reckon that your contribution starts from: 
 
"Cynthia: What are you doing here? How did you get in?" 
 
I thought you handled the ending very well although there wasn't a great deal of scope for dramatic denouement. 
 
Cheers 
 
Chris 
 
 

Written by coosh (825 comments posted) 4th September 2007
Nice, almost classic-style dilemmas. This is developing at the moment in slowish but intriguing stages - intriguing in respect of the significance or otherwise of Eileen and the potential value of the picture, which I assume was your idea.
Thanks Seagull and Coosh
Written by jean.day (2231 comments posted) 4th September 2007
There are actually 5 acts, so I'll post another one tomorrow, probably.  
 
The Eileen and the picture bit were my writing, and in fact all of the act except for the first six lines.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3237 comments posted) 5th September 2007
It's an interesting exercise but I'm not sure how it will affect the narrative which may be pulled in different directions. It needs one strong theme to power it along. 
I'm guessing that he left you with :- 
 
"Eileen: Funny,I've never seen you around. Who are you?" 
 
I thougth the conflict provoked by the picture worked well but I'm not sure if it was real or just a hook to hang a grievance on for Cynthia who just resents the new life her father has chosen. I hope it is otherwise it doesn't present Cynthia is a good light. 
I did think it ended with a whimper rather than a bang after all that drama 
cheers 
Jane 
 
 

Written by Phil (6549 comments posted) 8th September 2007
My guess would be you started with: 
 
Cynthia: I’m his daughter, if it’s any business of yours. 
 
Enjoying this. Cynthia is not set up as a particularly sympathetic character - which is fine. The old saying: you can choose your friends, but not your family holds fast here. 
 
Phil
Thanks Phil
Written by jean.day (2231 comments posted) 9th September 2007
You got it right exactly. I wonder if the two styles of writing are that different that you picked it out easily. Adrian is a very accomplished writer, but writes very much from a man's point of view - very seldom any emotion in his writing - and often mystery or a bit of violence. It willl be interesting to see how he finishes it off. 
 
I would appreciate somebody commenting on Act V - as nobody has so far, and it might be because everyone who has read it thinks it is an awful ending, but they are too polite to say so. I don't mind if people think that, as I am not too sure about it myself.  
 
Adrian created the characters - so I don't feel bad about the family members being selfish unpleasant people.  
 

Written by Phil (6549 comments posted) 9th September 2007
I thin I spotted it because I recognised your style Jean. I'll get to V eventually. I'll go and have a look at III now. 
 
Phil

Written by Josie (2632 comments posted) 3rd October 2007
Interesting, Jean. Looks like father is looking after himself very well and has found someone to do his shopping. Is he an invalid that he needs someone else to shop for him? ha ha This comes from a woman's viewpoint. I think it would do him good to get out of the house and a regular walk to the shops would fit the bill!

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item