Funny how good news pales,
like the chewing gum loses
flavour on the bedpost overnight.
Like snow melts on a sunny dyke.
Where has my vigour gone?
Is it still here somewhere
amidst this guddle, beneath
all this life-mess?
Is it buried beneath these
unloved guitar magazines,
rejected poems, tea-stained
mugs, leaf-fallen hopes?
One thing I feel for sure;
If I find it, it will be
less lustrous than before,
tarnished by time.
Like Custer’s reinforcements,
my good news came too late.
The arrows and tomahawks
of doubt already rain on me.
Oli 04/09/07
|
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3288 comments posted) 4th September 2007 |
Sounds like a really bad day at the check-out, to me.
I felt this was two poems [or at least two themes] in one. I preferred the "late news" theme to bemoaning the loss of vigour theme. It was much more fresh and original and had a bit of wry wit which makes it much more palatable.
I expect I got it all wrong but it's just my perception of it. It's probably too profound for me.
I didn't know any reinforcements came for Custer at all. I thought he went against orders and went off on his own.
Anyway it's academic, and as it's my favourite verse I'll concede the point
cheers
Jane |
Hi Jane
Written by Talisker (1317 comments posted) 4th September 2007 |
Thanks - I see what you mean about the two themes - but the context (undisclosed) links them.
I applied to do a nursing degree and have only just received unconditional acceptance, after jumping through many hoops. Yet in all the hoop jumping, something of the original ambition has gone - that's what its about. You weren't to guess all that of course, but I'm reluctant to spoon feed, and hope that it will somehow fit into another's, different experience of life.
Doesn't make it a great poem by any means. But it is all linked up for me.
On the Custer's reinforcements issue, I based this on my memory of the old film. On checking details on Wikipedia, I note that detachments under Major Reno and Captain Benteen were supposed to support, but became embroiled elsewhere, leaving Custer and his men exposed.
Oli |
A bad day at the checkout?
Written by Josie (2721 comments posted) 4th September 2007 |
| Whenever life gets you down Oli, there's always someone else who's life is worse than yours. Like poor Adam. What's the good news? You've had a win on the lottery? Met the woman of your dreams? Come on - tell! I loved your poem. As for your vigour - well I'm sure it's only hiding. |
Written by Phil (6629 comments posted) 5th September 2007 |
I guessed what this about from something you told me a while ago. With me, anticipation is often more pleasurable than realisation. Having to wait while some jobsworth ticks the required boxes can certainly take the edge of things.
Well done anyway. If you go ahead with it, I hope it all works out. Perhaps the delay was all to do with preconditioning to cope with NHS waiting lists.
Phil |
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