Kate opened the door to Stuart’s flat.   She dropped her coat and bag in the hall as she quickly made her way to the kitchen where she could hear him preparing their dinner.  He’d promised her a special meal tonight. She didn’t know why but had news for him which made it special for her anyway, whatever he had planned. 

“Darling, guess what?”

“What?” said Stuart, smiling gently as he watched her barely able to stop jumping up and down.

“You’re supposed to guess!” she squeaked.

“Ok” said Stuart, putting down the colander he had been draining the past in. “George Clooney rang and asked you to marry him?” 

“No, better than that!”

“Come on then, what is it?”  said Stuart, amused by the barely hidden excitement, but wondering what was coming.

“I’ve got a promotion and they’re sending me to the Dublin office for two years!  Isn’t that amazing?” said Kate to Stuart with a big grin on her face.  Her announcement was met with silence.  “Stuart?  You still here?”

“Yes.  I’m here”. 

“Well, aren’t you going to congratulate me – or something?  Or say anything?”  Kate started pacing round Stuart’s kitchen, her excitement ebbing away by the second.

“Congratulations” eventually came the reply.  “Why do they have to send you to Dublin?”

“They always send people away for a while, just to get used to our new position with strangers rather than have to deal with managing friends who might not be too happy about it” said Kate.  “Dublin’s not that far away – it could have been worse. It could have been the Far East!”   Kate looked at Stuart.  She could tell that he was obviously in a dilemma, his features not reflecting his congratulatory words.   “What’s wrong?  I thought you’d be happy for me.” 

Stuart sighed.  “I’m sorry Kate.  I am happy for you, but ….”  He rooted round in his trouser pocket and brought out a small velvet box.  “I was going to give you this tonight and ask you to marry me.   I guess that will have to wait now.” 

All she could do was look up into his dark, sad, eyes as her jaw dropped.  Then she frowned.  “But why are you so sad about it?  Just because I’m going to Dublin doesn’t mean we can’t get engaged – does it?”  

She could see in his eyes how much he cared and how much hurt she would cause him if she went away.   Kate looked up at him, she was tall but he still had several inches on her.   He meant the world to her and she’d do anything for him.  But would she risk her career for his sake?  She hadn’t been expecting to have to make that kind of choice.

“I don’t want to wait two years before getting married” said Stuart.  “There’d be no point if you’re going to be in Dublin and I’m here.  And what if they ship you off to the States after that?  I know some married people live apart like that but I couldn’t do it.  Why get married if we’re not going to be together, every day?”

Kate looked away, unable to bear the look in his eyes any more.   She knew she had to make a decision that would affect the rest of her life.  She wouldn’t lose her job over it, but turning down promotion now would mean it might never be offered again, not in this firm at least – chances like that never came twice.  And it would take forever to get to this level of seniority and trust again if she moved to a new firm.  However, it would mean she could stay in London. With Stuart.   

“What if you came to live in Dublin too?”

“It’s impossible, you know that.” 

Kate did, but had been hoping he would at least try to find a way round it.  He had elderly parents who were both becoming more frail and although he lived alone he kept an eye on them.  He couldn’t do that from a foreign country, and as an only child of only children he had no other family to help or takeover their care in his place. 

“I have to go and think this through Stuart” said Kate.   “I’ll go home now.   I’ll call you, soon.”   She stretched up to kiss him, he held on to her, tightly, for what felt like ages.  She could feel his broad strong shoulders under her fingers as she held him close.  Reminding her of the love and friendship she may lose if she went away. 

The weekend saw Kate walking a lot, alone, crying, trying to decide what she wanted to do.   Her job was important to her, she had worked hard to get where she was.  Being offered promotion and being sent to one of the foreign branches as an adviser on how English law would affect their work was an amazing opportunity for her, and one she would be foolish to turn down, she knew that.  She loved Stuart though.  She had never dreamt that he would ever propose to her.  Well, dreamt maybe but only in her wildest dreams, never seriously considering that he would actually do it.  He always seemed so settled with his life, comfortable, secure, happy with the way they were.  She loved him for all that and so much more.  She had never known anyone like him before.  She knew he loved her too, in his way.  How could she leave him?  She knew that if she went to Dublin it would be the end of their relationship.  It was strong and close but would it survive separation for long periods?  She hoped it would but knew she’d be too busy to be coming back every weekend or two, and he wouldn’t want to be travelling back and forwards either.   Cost was the least of their problems, it was just impractical.  Was any job worth the pain this would cause them both, however ambitious she was?

Monday morning arrived with no decision made.  As was usual at this time of year, Kate was up before the sun for her life-sapping commute to town.   It was a damp, cold and miserable winter morning when she left her house.  She wondered why people felt it necessary to leave train doors open when it was bitterly cold, and then open a window too.  She arrived in London in despair.  The weather was no better, just with fewer treacherous leaves on the ground for her to avoid slipping on.   The firm had given her until the end of the week to decide whether she was going to accept their offer or not. 

Leaving the station to walk to her office in the City she began to realise that something wasn’t right.  The way people were moving about wasn’t natural, there wasn’t the normal tunnel-visioned walking going on around her.  She stopped outside the Bank of England and looked around but could see nothing unusual, but could hear people talking amongst themselves, talking to strangers even – certainly not a common occurrence in the City rush hour.  She saw tears, and the word “bomb” was on peoples’ lips.  She knew immediately what had happened.  Again.  She had been away on holiday last time and had avoided the initial attacks but now, would she escape so easily this time?  She guessed that news of a bomb having gone off was the cause of the initial fear, followed quickly by the panic that, like last time, there would be more to come – but where?   It wasn’t even safe to get on a bus. The traffic had come to a standstill, waiting for and yet hoping there would be no more explosions. 

Kate grabbed her phone out of her pocket and tried to get through to Stuart.  He was probably still on his way to work too, it wasn’t far away from where she was now although he came in from the north of town.   Word had got about that the station hit was the one Stuart came into.   She couldn’t get through to him.  Lines were blocked or had crashed with the sudden weight of traffic as people phoned and texted to make sure their friends and family were ok.  Kate started to run towards the station only to be blocked by a tide of people being herded in the opposite direction by police.   She sat on a nearby wall as tears began to run down her face in rivers. She was sobbing uncontrollably at the thought that she might lose him in the worst way possible.  She couldn’t bear it.  The idea of him no longer being a permanent part of her life if she went to Dublin was something she could just about cope with – she would still be able to speak to him, meet up with him occasionally, even if they were no longer engaged.  But the thought that he might be dead was unspeakable, unthinkable.   The tears kept flowing as she sobbed, gulping for air, her pulse racing as her breathing became faster but shallow.  

She knew now what her decision would be. 

Suddenly there were hands on her shoulders and elbows, raising her up on her feet, gently turning her around.  A pair of strong arms encircled her, holding her close and tight.  Slowly Kate raised her face.  As her eyes slowly registered Stuart’s familiar loving look she dropped her bag and held him nearly as tightly as he held her, her forehead resting on his suited chest, not noticing that his tie was askew.

“Who needs Dublin anyway?” she sobbed as tears started to run down her face.  She knew then she would never leave him.