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Excuse me, Where's the end of this tunnel?

By William87

06 September 2007

Just something I wrote. Easy to write these kind of texts.
I'm kinda busy writing my script at the moment. But meanwhile I figured I could write this type of text again. It's more of an intellectual exercise.

/Kind regards, William - What could be nice to get comments on is that I'm currently trying to write stuttering out like for example; I- I. If I'm doing it right?

You know, I'm walking through this dark tunnel at the moment. I guess I’m feeling a bit lost again. I guess, I'm afraid I might get lost forever, you know. What happens if I take the wrong turn? Where will I end up? I'm supposed to follow the light right? But my eyes are blindfolded.

I guess the tunnel would only have one way right? But what if there are some hidden passages at the sides. What happens if I- If I stumble, and end up in one of the side passages. Is there a way to get back? I wouldn't know the way. Would there be someone waving me back?

Jesus, I-I think I'm going through a life crisis I guess. I'm 20, but, uh, I feel like I’m still 14, I mean, is it possible to see your own development, I mean- the psychological evolving.

I could look at photos, but, uh, that's just pictures. I mean, all I see is a strange face. ”That’s not me”, "Who is that". I can't even, uh, remember what went through my mind when I was younger, I- well some moments of course. But uh, when I was below 10 years old, uh, it's like I blacked out. I can't remember anything.

I wish there was some kind of a guide on the, uh, on- on the Internet right? That gave me tips & directions.

I suppose I'm on of those characters who like to have control of my own life but got absolutely none. I mean, if I do something what effect will it have on me?

I hope someone will find me and remove this blindfold. Until then, I'm staying right where I am. Unless the tunnel get's shorter or somehow evolves around me, I guess then I'd have no choice?

Jesus- I guess that's life...Right?

Reviews

Written by johniebg (553 comments posted) 8th September 2007

You should maybe change your authors note on this one as it is a better read than you would have us think. I almost did what I suspect others have - which is not linger.

The prose jumps along quite nicely and you detail a feeling I guess most of us have experienced I.e. being lost in a dark tunnel of life. The bad news is the tunnel is perpetual, the good news is you get used to it and if you are really determined learn to see through the walls.

Keep writing.

PS stop calling me Jesus

Written by johniebg (553 comments posted) 8th September 2007

ps there is a commonly held thought among a number of people that brain cells evolve in an evolutionary manner. In as much a strong memories will maintain their neuronal presence in the brain while weaker ones will be lost and replaced. As such much of childhood is lost to our memories because it is spent layering in much of the detail that we use as humans in later life - object and colour recognition, language, perception. Additionally childhood is about routine so there is little time for the brain to establish memories that are strong enough to survive. Those that do are often emotional even if not thought so within the direct focus of the conscious at the time.

Just a thought. Nice little essay you have written here, contains just enough to be thought provoking.

Written by William87 (30 comments posted) 8th September 2007

Cheers for the review. Changing my authors note now :P
Thanks for the info as well, Very interesting.

/Kind regards, William

Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 9th September 2007

An interesting little musing. One to linger over. I may add, i know the feeling! I'm near your age but have felt like that most of my life until now...i'm coming to understand that that feeling never really ends...you just have to get over the fear and keep on going! Good read

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