I walked into the church to join the rest of the crowd. I was a little late, but the bride wasn’t ready yet anyway, so it didn’t really matter. I walked in the door and everybody was standing up looking at me. There were flowers everywhere. I nodded to the people, turning red from embarrassment. I looked up at the preacher. He smiled and winked at me. I slid my coat off and hurried to my spot between two of my best friends, Keith and Ira. Keith put his arm around me.

“Surprised you showed.” I nodded.

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” The groom, my ex, Rick, walked in, smiling at me as he passed. I shook my head at him, glaring. He shrugged and took his spot at the front of the church. The organ started playing. In walked this 20-something that was young enough to be Rick’s daughter. She was so pretty. Rick wasn’t paying any attention. He was too busy checking out the bride’s blonde sister, one of the bridesmaids. I knew Brandy didn’t know a thing about Rick, or she wouldn’t’ve even considered marriage. I wasn’t about to correct her judgment, though.

Personally, I didn’t care how young or pretty she was. She was taking Rick out of my life, so I would always be grateful to her. The preacher started reciting. Rick put up his hand.

“Skip to the ‘I do’s.” Brandy glared at him. He smiled. “Honey, this is my 5^th time. I know the drill.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Do you, Rick--”

“I do, I do. C’mon, speed this up some?” He turned to Brandy.

“Do you, Brandy, take Rick to be your lawfully wedded husband?” She scowled at Rick.

“I do.” I smiled. Ira and Keith had to hold my arms to keep me from jumping up and screaming. I was so happy! He was gone! I was free! I saw Rick slip the preacher his stamp card. The preacher smiled.

“Next one’s free!” Rick winked as Brandy started walking back down the aisle.

“Oh, trust me. There’ll be a ‘next one’.” He patted the preacher on the back and went back to his new bride.

We all exited the chapel and went to a separate part of the church where they were having the reception. After cake, the bouquet, and champagne, the groom was pretty riled. He was starting to shout and openly hit on girls in front of his new wife. She rolled her eyes.

“Oh, this is perfect… it can only get better.” His mom was crying next to me. She nudged my arm.

“Aren’t they lovely together?” I nodded, trying to force a smile. I kind of pitied the poor girl. She had no idea what she had just gotten herself into. Rick stumbled over to me, grabbing my hip to keep himself from falling.

“Wanna hit the janitor’s closet?”

“Rick!” I smacked his arm. “You’re married! We’re divorced!” He smiled.

“But you’re still my favorite, babe.” Brandy slapped him.

“Whore!” She stormed off. He shrugged.

“She’s gone anyway. C’mon… a quickie.” I pushed him out of the way and found Keith.

“Where’s Ira?” He motioned behind him.

“One of the bridesmaids asked him to meet her in the back.” We sat down at the nearest table.

“He’s getting lucky and I’m getting Ricked… that’s just great.”

“That girl must’ve been some kinda crazy.” I looked at Brandy in the corner, not knowing how to react to how Rick was acting.

“I kind of feel sorry for her.” Keith nudged my arm.

“Babe, he’s with her now. You’re free.” I smiled again.

“I know!” I hugged him. I saw the preacher jump up on one of the tables in the center of the room. He had lost his jacket and was dancing with his glass of champagne. I wondered what glass he was on… He looked up and his eyes met up with mine. He winked and licked his lips. I turned back to Keith. “I swear… him and Rick must be brothers. That’s the same guy that married us. And he looked down my dress the entire time!” Keith laughed.

“Well, hell, babe. It’s Rick we’re talking about here. Why wouldn’t he have a crooked preacher?” I heard Brandy’s shouts from across the room.

When they finally got in the car to leave, they were still fighting. “Off to a real good start, huh?” I laughed. Keith smiled. Ira came up behind me, straightening up his jacket. “Can you go anywhere without fucking some broad?” He shook his head.

“What’s the fun in that, babe?” People started throwing rice at the car. Keith handed me a bag.

“Knock yourself out.” I was more than happy to throw it. He was gone! For good! I had NEVER been this happy. I had had a close call… but I was free at last! I’m not the bride!