Professor Smails

Professor Smails from deepest Wales

Was obsessed with mucky kids finger nails

He wanted to know what really lingers

Beneath the nails of those grubby fingers

Beetle sick and snail poo

Bats spit and wee wee too

So he tested in his lab

All the fingers he could grab

He found the little boys in Wales

Had these very nasties under their nails

So he raced the chemist in his slippers

And bought one hundred pair of clippers

And now he spends every day

Clipping nails for free (he’s mad they say)