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By SteadyBeat
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14 September 2007 |
Luminous Faith, this is my first piece of work here and i hope that you guys enjoy reading it.
Well, the poem obviously talks about faith and how it plays a vital role in our lives. Without belief souls are left bewildered and lost, just as i humbly try to portray through my poem....
Leaving a comment would be alot appreciated.
Cheerz!
Luminous Faith
Faith is the dazzling light that never dies,
The misty air surrounding our lives,
Discern it and you shall breathe freedom and relief,
Resurrected from the essence of your pure belief,
Faith is gods grace wrapped firmly in a gift,
Causing the weakest spirits to lift,
Back to the righteous path we persist,
To endure a grateful offer we cannot resist,
Faith is the curfew to our most awful sins,
Deep within, our deeds struggle to win,
From those earthly burdens so demanding,
To that everlasting peace beyond our understanding,
Faith purges the darkest hearts from despair,
To dispel doubts that the light is still there,
With faith we prevail and make a choice,
In our lord and savior we rejoice.
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Welcome
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 14th September 2007 | | Welcome to GW. I see this is your first piece of poetry. On the subject matter first: If you are speaking of faith, you haven't exactly explained "faith in what". Some people have faith that the drugs they are taking will change their lives for the better. I am a Christian and I think you may be talking about Christian faith, so I agree with you, but people on this website come from wide backgrounds, so may not understand. Although you have done a good initial job with the rhythm of your poem, it is faulty in many places. Clap your hands to the beats in each line. It is a simple thing to put right. Don't forget your apostrophes and God's gift is with a capital G too. gods = many different gods. A good start. |
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 14th September 2007 | There are many different people from different backgrounds on the site. I don't object to religious verse absolutely, but this does seem to be more in the 'absolute truth' style. I don't like that at all. Your introduction makes a very wide and sweeping statement that I take issue with. Faith and belief is not the way to avoid bewilderment or feeling lost. It is a way for some. To suggest otherwise demeans the lives of many.
Phil |
Written by SteadyBeat (2 comments posted) 14th September 2007 | Well, I didnt want to specify the faith cause then that in itself will cause conflictions. I simply discribed faith through my eyes, how i see it.
Now some might like my way of portraying things and others may not. We all have our differences.
I know i touched on sensitive issues here but when it comes to faith one should be very careful since its a fragile case.
Anyway your comments were inlighting.
Thanks Phil and Josie.
Cheerz!
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