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Poetry
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| Gilbert and Sullivan | |
| By Sinnerman_Pfank | ||||||
| 15 September 2007 | ||||||
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Evening We had management consultants in a few weeks back. It probably is beyond parody, but anyway...... (Optionally sung to the tune of "The Song of the Major general" from Pirates of Penzance Sinnerman
I am the very model of a modern business visionary
I embrace each new theory with a zeal that’s almost missionary I know the books of Chomsky in order chronological Erikson and Argyris and their theories psychological I can recall from memory, Druckers Bibliography Beckhard’s management theory or Bateson’s anthropology The works of Convey and Porter are, of course, all personal friends I analyse and understand the subtlest of business trends. In quality business dailies, there you’ll often see me in the news My monologues on business culture get nothing but the best reviews In short, in matters of leadership, management or industry. I am the very model of a modern corporate visionary. I can recite the work’s of giants from DeBono to Berners-Lee Aaker, Abell, Yoram wind? I’ve memorised each strategy From continuous improvement to the innovative profit pool I teach each and every one of them at some-or-other business school I know all the buzzwords from “imagineer” to “paradigm” I’ve redefined the boundaries of what people might call “flexi-time” But I avoid the use of language like guru or idolatry I’m saving that sort of thing for my autobiography! But though my vocabulary’s impressive and my style didactical I’m afraid it’s pretty obvious my theories are impractical In short, in matters of leadership, management or industry I am the very model of a modern business visionary In fact, when I can self-diagnose cerebral ischaemia When I can tell the difference between “real world” and academia When I can find solutions to the problems business are staring at When I can tell the difference between a leader and a bureaucrat When I learn the ability to stop talking out my well-upholstered ass When I know more of business than an under 10 remedial class In short, when I learn the difference between loo-roll and a balance sheet A better corporate visionary I promise you will never meet! For although I define new trends and with argument I’ll have no truck I’ve never been in business and ever actually made a buck But I embrace each new theory with a zeal that’s almost missionary For I am the very model of a modern corporate visionary!
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