A Recipe for Disaster

First take some detritus and mix it with tosh,
Chuck in some debris and a little hogwash.
Bind in some codswallop and finely chopped waste,
Add stuff and nonsense; then season to taste.

Leave it to stand in a large rancid bin
For about seven minutes: put fresh offal in.
Whisk it quite strongly with neat gibberish,
Insert a dregs cube; pour into a dish.

Open a carton of chemical piffle.
It’s really acidic, so just use a little.
Include some garbage; a soupcon of dross,
Knead it quite hard to show you’re the boss.

We’re nearing the finish, so now take some lumps
Of flotsam and jetsam: (from 2 separate dumps).
Strain them quite slowly through one sweaty sock,
Sprinkle on twaddle; throw in poppycock.

It’s finally time to blend tommyrot
Into the mixture and bake the whole lot
For about half an hour, while you merge some moonshine
With balderdash, bunkum, refuse and slime.

When it’s cooled down, dust finely with guff.
Add some stuff and nonsense; that should be enough.
Make it look nice with a sprig of green junk,
Or finish it off with some essence of skunk.

This can be a starter, or special main course,
Remember to serve it with pure slurry sauce.
The whole thing exists for your delectation,
It’s perfect for fans of regurgitation.

I’m sure that for some, this will be a surprise,
But I hope that at least we have opened your eyes.
Thanks so much for listening to the tricks of our trade
Now at least you all know how burgers are made