Yes the police, here, have really pulled the stops out. They have managed to extrapolate a whole case against the McCanns, on easily, the flimsiest of evidence yet. I really can’t see how they can top this one, but then I said that yesterday.

 Well, the head of police can’t be with us, today, as he had just moved house and memorizing his new address is taking priority right now, so I’ve just been handed a press statement to read out.

“We can now reveal we found dog hairs stuck to Mrs McCann’s shoes and similar hairs on the door mat which leads us to the obvious conclusion that they must have trained a large dog to take Maddy away and bury her somewhere. There are a lot of stray dogs round here and they will do anything for a dog biscuit. We also have damning evidence; a covert photo of Mr McCann stroking a dog, which he claims not to remember. We have consequently diverted all search teams to look for the dog. We are confident of an early result”.