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Poetry
Soloist
By kitten_princess
18 September 2007
Clearing out my room, I found a scribble I'd written a while ago.

So, I tried polishing it a little, and thought I'd bring it here to be picked apart.

Hope you like it.

I felt her music fade on the side of that highway.

Her heart,
normally beating a steady marching rhythm,
hesitated. It leaked out a few closing notes, and
paused. Indefinitely.

We had played our duets,
my cautious fluted tune
intertwining in counterpoint with her
proud drum beat,

but now,
once again,
I am a soloist,
playing a simple tune
alone.

Reviews

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 18th September 2007
I really like this. It's touching without being melodramatic. I like the way you create a rhythm to match the meaning of the words- if that makes any sense! My only complaint is that I think the last line (word really) seems unnecessary.  
Good work :)
Alone again...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 18th September 2007
naturally. Do you know the Gilbert O'Sullivan song? 
 
I am reminded of it by your theme.  
 
Nice metaphor and pleasing read. 
 
Oli :)

Written by Phil (6675 comments posted) 18th September 2007
Liked this. It opened up a lot of mental pictures. With Gutterkitty on the last word. 
 
Phil

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