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Poetry
Home Alone
By Sinnerman_Pfank
19 September 2007
Evening

...Ah, happy days!

Sinnerman

One argues, while the other one snipes
An endless procession of moans and gripes
They can hardly bear being in the same room
And instil in each other a mutual gloom 

Boundless energy for a pointless fight
Neither interested in the wrong or the right
Small acts of kindness, quickly negated -
You’d hardly believe this pair are related 

At mealtimes, there’s hardly a single word
Or they shout so loud I can hardly be heard
Doors always slamming, followed by silence
Punctuate the episodes of verbal violence
 
Meaningless arguments about pointless things
Oblivious to the impact on others this brings
And especially when your siblings have all flown
It’s not easy raising parents on your own

Reviews
True
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 19th September 2007
You have expressed the situation beautifully with good rhythm and rhyming poetry. It really is terrible to live like that.

Written by Keller (19 comments posted) 19th September 2007
What a fantastic twist at the end! I like it, I think it's a situation (well, the arguments at least, that nearly everyone can relate to. 
 
I think the last verse needs some editing though. The word 'oblivious' feels a bit too long and breaks the lovely rhythm you've set up and managed to keep flowing with the rhyme scheme. 
 
And I think the penultimate line fits the rhythm better with 'all' taken out: 
'And especially when your siblings have flown' 
 
I like it!

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 20th September 2007
Yup, very good poem! I love the style and the twist in the end was a very good one.

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 20th September 2007
Nice twist at the end. Not a fan of overly tight rhythm and rhyme, unless used for a particular effect - but this was okay. 
 
Phil.

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