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Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
Some ideas, but more presque vu with this one than all there. (forgive my French spelling - if it needs forgiving.)
Liked some of the imagery very much. For me, an extra clue might have made the difference between something that reads well and something that means more. Not a reopening of old arguments, just an honest reaction.
Phil. |
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
| I felt, with this poem Andy, that you had taken it from something which was much longer and more fully explained. Even the fact that all capital letters to begin what you were saying were deliberately omitted, made me feel like this, and the absence of any punctuation to pause and complete. Therefore, I felt as Phil did, that it needed just a bit more to make your lovely imagery more meaningful to me. |
Written by andybyers (176 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
Well, I have my own ideas about what this is about, but I don't want to hit anyone over the head with them. In fact, I'm quite interested to learn what (if anything) other people see in it.
No, Josie, actually, what you see is what you get.  This one's unabridged. The indentation, carriage returns, and extra spaces (and a couple of commas) are the only deliberate strictures I put on how the poem is read. |
Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
Hi Andy, I could write at length at what I see in this, but don't have the time. Suffice to say, I see plenty. Problem is, lots of my ideas are in conflict with each other. When I said an extra clue, I meant an extra line pointing in the right direction would have helped me. I'm all for the reader having to do some work - but this reader wants to know he's worked for an end, not a vague possibility among many. - Unless of course that is the purpose of the poem - to demonstrate a vagueness of possibilities. I don't think that applies here - but of course I could be wrong.
Still lots to like within the limits of my understanding.
Phil |
Written by stevetroster (1588 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
I liked the imagery that your ambiguous words suggested.
O(r)bituary? The coming ice age and the end of the world as we know it?
All the best,
Steve.
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Written by andybyers (176 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
The coming ice age and the end of the world as we know it?
Now THAT'S interesting. It wasn't in my mind when I wrote it or read it subsequently, but what a unique interpretation! This is what I love about the difference between prose and free form verse. In prose, I would have pretty much had to tie readers down with pretty leaden constructions. But this is a framework, and look how Steve has appointed it.
Phil, you get ideas that contract each other. And? Why is that a problem? I remember saying to you at some point that I "got" my take on literary interpretation under just such a circumstance when my professor presented us with two contradictions and asked which was "right" and it finally occurred to me to ask, "Can't it be both?" And that's the point he was getting at. It's not so much important to get the "truth" out of something, because what's true or right is largely subjective. What's important is to get ideas. To let the symbols inspire you as only YOU can be inspired by them. Don't worry if they contradict one another; enjoy each for what it is... they're yours. They come from who you are; they're merely prompted by what I wrote and you read.
I'd be interested in hearing what those contradictory ideas are, if you'd be willing to share them with us. |
Written by stevetroster (1588 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
Two (ex)lovers parting company, beneath a streetlamp, in the snow.
Oh, I give up.
Or, perhaps third time lucky!!
Still all the best, until society dictates otherwise,
Steve. |
Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
Ah, now there's a conundrum. Do I spill the beans or leave the writer to work out my conflicting ideas (not contracting, I'm afraid!) or leave him to work out his own interpretation for himself?
My ideas: very different from Steve's - and possibly much closer to what was intended (no offence Steve) but on balance, no; I don't care to share - yet.
Still thinking, see?
There's also another review washing around my head.
Phil. |
Written by andybyers (176 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
| There's no conundrum, Phil... you haven't yet written a poem about them for us to interpret. Then your conundrum is: how focused to you care to be? |
Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 |
Okay. I'm lacking inspiration at the moment. I'll give it a go. Keep in mind - I'm not poet.
Phil. |
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