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By andybyers
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23 September 2007 |
A moment in time from one of several different perspectives.  This
One’s ears turn because This One hears noise in the kitchen. Then comes
the smell of food. That One is pouring food. This One’s eyes open and
This One stretches and yawns and licks This One’s leg, and This One
jumps down off the bed because if This One waits too long, The Other
One will eat all the food and there’ll be none left for This One.
That
One has the things on That One’s tall, lanky body again that mean that
That One is going out; This One can tell. This One loves That One. Why
does That One go out? What does That One do when That One’s out there?
Does That One hunt, stalk, chase? Does That One fight and mate? But
This One wishes That One would stay here. This One likes it when That
One is here. Sometimes when That One is out, The Other One is mean to
This One and This One hates The Other One when that happens. The Other
One sometimes holds This One and bites This One. Why does The Other One
do that? The Other One is afraid of That One, because That One makes
angry noises when The Other One hurts This One. But when That One is
out, That One’s not here to make those sounds and The Other One can do
just what The Other One wants. Sometimes The Other One wants to play
and lick and purr. That’s when This One likes The Other One. Maybe The
Other One will be like that today when That One goes out.
This
One rubs That One’s legs. This One rolls because This One wants That
One to stay. That One makes pretty noises to This One, but That One
goes to the door anyway. This One goes to the window to see That One go
inside the moving thing and go away. This One hears The Other One at
the dish. This One wonders if there’ll be food left. This One better go
see.|
Wth?
Written by Dark_Angel (53 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 | So lost... but I got that it was a cat... or a dog maybe... fuck if I know lol.
Still great =]
I think you should post more. |
Written by andybyers (171 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 | Yeah, Muffin (a.k.a. "This One") is a cat.  So is "The Other One". "That One" is human. |
Written by Asferthecat (834 comments posted) 22nd September 2007 | When I read the first one I assumed it was be the same incident from three perspectives. These stories have no linking theme at all - it could be any time.
The first two were OK but this one is virtually unreadable. I thought it was about domestic violence from a dog's point of view. But two cats and a human? |
Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 23rd September 2007 | Interesting idea, but not what I expected. Like Asfer, I thought we were going to see the same event from three different POVs. No matter.
Enjoyed the first. It showed real character - perhaps a little stereotyped - but character all the same - in a short space. You can't beat a good bit of profanity.
The other two left me cold. I've never identified with characters like that. Empty, facile heads don't really make for good reading. I don't think you really got the cats - and I'm not sure I'd have wanted to read it if you had.
Interesting experiment - but didn't really work for me. For what it's worth, it might be worth doing something with your first character.
Phil. | 3 x 9.16 = ??
Written by John_O (139 comments posted) 28th September 2007 | Hi Andy
just to play havoc with the averages I found that I liked this one more than the preceding pair. It has a poetic quality to it, all those repeats of This One That One etc. Okay its a bit harder to read than the rant of a dissed off driver or a time limited teen but, for me, that's okay.
I don't get the sensation that the experiment is exactly how everybody perceives it, these are three unrelated moments in time, perhaps we were all expecting there to be a common thread.
Brave experiment, keep rattling the test tubes.
John_O |
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