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Poetry
Locked Arms
By tornlove09
23 September 2007
My fear is unthinkable,
Unimaginable
Others listen to my story
They say it wouldn’t happened to them

I would have done that
Or no, not me
They push it under the surface
Trying to hide their fear

You must know
It could happen to you
It happened to me

Something so dear
Was taken away from me
I could not control the events
That took place
I had to go through it with
Locked arms

Arms that were held down
A voice that was unheard
A part of me was taken away
A girl who was in control yesterday

Reviews

Written by Phil (6629 comments posted) 23rd September 2007
Brave writing, both. As poetry, both pieces are still raw and very unpolished - but there is material to work with. I'm a reader of poetry, not really a writer. (Only occasionally) I'd suggest you read some of the more accomplished poets on the site. It might give you an insight into how they distill ideas into verse. 
 
There's plenty to work with here. 
 
Phil.
Locked Arms
Written by soulofanangel (8 comments posted) 24th September 2007
I think that your free verse style really worked for this poem. I think that you could have delivered that last stanza with abit more flow, but you definitely built the suspence throughout. 
 
I agree it is brave writing, and very creatively done. I certainly enjoyed reading. I'm pretty new around here, but so far I've really enjoyed the poetry on this site - including this one!!!! 
 

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