Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Breathing Place
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1655 guests online and 5 members online
Poetry
Breathing Place
By Keller
23 September 2007
This one is written specifically for being read aloud more than reading on the page.  Total experiment, let me know if it works?  Thanks heaps!

This,
This is the place she lives,
the place she breathes;
in this water
in the roots of this tree,
her fingers tangled in your hair.
Can you not hear her
speak your name?
Hers is there on your lips,
you can taste it on your tongue:
metallic letters on skin
like blood.

This,
This is the place she sleeps,
she's not been hiding
but this way is sometimes dark,
and you have often turned your head
and closed your eyes.

This,
This is the place she lives,
the place she breathes;
buried here in the earth,
her throat full of leaves
and moonlight in her eyes.
Turn and look,
and take her hand
because you already know her
and she has a secret to tell.

This,
This is the place I live,
the place I breathe;
she did not leave me,
I just forgot that I had lungs.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 23rd September 2007
I always read poetry aloud. This did have an oral quality about it. Certainly helped by the verbal pointer at the beginning of each stanza. 
 
Liked very much. 
 
Phil. 
 
reading aloud
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 23rd September 2007
Isn't nearly all poetry capable of being read aloud?  
 
I say nearly because apart from such typographically idiosyncratic work as that in some of e.e.cummings poems , I haven't met any that cannot at least be attempted vocally. Even cummings is fun to try , as when ,as a student, i startled a staid speech lecturer with a rendition of Four III. I think it worked ! 
 
Touches of Rusalka early in the ideas behind your work, but then it moves into earth images . 
 
Certainly capable of declamation. 
 
 
patterjack

Written by andybyers (181 comments posted) 24th September 2007
It reminds me of Anglo-Saxon poetry I've heard "translated" into modern English. They were fond of allusions and metaphor and the themes tended to be rather dark. I guess this is in the earliest traditions of our language. Phil's right; for that reason at least, the poem works particularly well when spoken.
not much of a review but...
Written by keepxthexfaith (4 comments posted) 24th October 2008
just wanted to say that I really like it.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item