Enter a Fanged Jester who begins to speak at the invitation only open experiment organized by the esteemed Geneticist and Eccentric Scientist Dr. Emerson Gates Buffett, in a laboratory that was once a courtroom:  "Dear esteemed academics, colleagues, and members of the media.  It is my great pleasure to introduce a life-giving experiment that will revolutionize stem cell research, and will be an everlasting testament to the resiliency and longevity of this divine research field.  Without further delay, I give you Dr. Emerson Gates Buffett."  A large curtain partitioning this former courtroom goes up, and two massive tables are revealed that are situated in the area that once contained a judicial bench for judges to preside over the courtroom.  The fronts of the tables are elevated so that members of the academic and media communities are able to see a body on each table.

          One table contains a well-muscled man.  One side of his body resembles President George W. Bush and the other side resembles Dick Cheney.  On the other table is a more slender figure, that of a woman resembling Hillary Rodham Clinton.  Dr. Emerson Gates Buffett begins to speak:  "Good evening esteemed colleagues.  As you can see, I've been able to clone two newly born bodies from my research using stem cells.  These bodies are capable of sustaining life, but require a life force.  Inside each of these bodies is a nuclear fusion reactor, each one capable of providing the amount of energy necessary to sustain life functions."  A spotlight suddenly shines on a large jar next to each body.  Dr. Gates Buffett continues: "The laboratory jars that you see next to each body contain a brain.  Next to the male body is the cloned brain of Ronald Wilson Reagan, and next to the female body is the cloned brain of William Jefferson Clinton.  I will be inserting each brain into the head that it is paired with.  My assistant jester will aid me with the insertion of the brains."  At this point, the jester dons a mask in the image of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad prior to the insertion of one brain into each body.  After insertion, the jester moves toward a large lever on the side of the room.  Dr. Emerson Gates Buffett says "Now we are ready to utilize nuclear fusion to give life to these cloned, newly born beings."  The doctor raises and then lowers his hand.  The jester looks at the crowd of academics and news media through his Mahmoud Ahmadinejad mask as he pulls the large lever downward.  The laboratory lights flicker as the nuclear fusion reactors come to life in each of the bodies.  The bodies twitch with the power of nuclear fusion.

          The male body rises first.  The male face does indeed resemble Ronald Wilson Reagan, and it even exhibits appropriate facial expressions and charismatic mannerisms that are immediately apparent.  The masculine clone smiles as it turns its head to observe the female counterpart lying on the table next to it.  Suddenly the female opens its eyes and lifts its upper torso.  The female clone turns to look at its masculine counterpart.  She pauses for a moment and then points at the male clone.  She lets out a shrill scream that sounds like a siren, with a face filled with horror and disgust at what he is and what she is.  She speaks one word: "ABOMINATION."   She then raises her arm and hand, and then thrusts her hand deep into her chest through the outer skin.  She rips out the small nuclear reactor that had been lodged in the chest and stomach areas, and crushes it like a tin can.  Both her body and the reactor fall to the ground.  All in the room look on in stunned horror and fascination.

          The male clone begins to cry and spreads its hands in a gesture that says "Why us?"  The male clone then looks around the room and becomes very angry.  He picks up both tables that he and his paramour were created on, and throws them at the academics and media figures gathered.  He then looks at Dr. Emerson Gates Buffett and asks his father "How could you?  How could you do this?  How could you bring me into this world like this?"  The Doctor can only reply "I had the best intentions."  The male clone grabs the Doctor's lab coat at the base of the collar, but releases his grip quickly.  The jester then approaches the male clone and distracts its attention.  The jester is now wearing brass knuckles in the shape of words.  The jester raises the brass knuckles on his right hand and shows the male clone.  The jester says "This means that I Love You."  The words formed by the right-handed brass knuckles are "GOD BROTHERHOOD."  The jester raises the brass knuckles on his left hand and shows the male clone similarly.  The jester then parodies his first statement and says "This means that I Hate You."  The words formed by these left-handed brass knuckles are "SEXIST OPPRESSION."  The monster then panders to the crowd and exclaims "Givers of life, deceivers, collaborators, leaders to destruction."  The monster clone then crawls up into a fetal position, never to arise again.  THE EXPERIMENT ENDS.