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Poetry
A Marriage Bizarre
By William87
01 October 2007
I've wanted to try and write lyrics for a song or something, but uh, I'm not well educated on it. So, I just sorta tried it in my own sort of way. This is my first attempt.

I guess it's closest to the peotry category than any of the others.

Instead of writing out chorus:, I  wrote it with an apstrophe.

/William

My own thoughts; I guess it could need more to it if it's going to be a song, but this is mainly the core of it. I feel I can add more. But, I don't know, maybe this is enough? Also I'm a bit worried I might be repeating the chorus too much!

 

"One times too many

One times too few

I struck my honey

With the flu"

I said;

I was sorry

That I miss you, Honey

I wish you missed me too

"One times too many

One times too few

I struck my Honey

With the flu"

Oh-

Please forgive me?

I want you back-

Here with Me

"One times too many

One times too few

I fought my marriage-

Just like you"

We combined a word

That I wished was ‘Love’

But I guess I was wrong-

All along

Somewhere on the side

Our ways collide

"One times too many

One times too few"

Again it happened-

A marriage

bizarre

She even took-

My

guitar

"One times too many

One times too few

I struck my honey

With the flu"

Reviews

Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 1st October 2007
Might work as a song, Will. Music will always give you a little latitude in the accuracy of wording.  
 
One times too many. 
 
Should possibly be: One time too many. 
 
Also better musically - as it's damned difficult to sing an s sound without whistling. 
 
I'm not entirely sure what the words add up to, but that may not be your concern. There are a few odd constructions - but if they fit the music, I guess you can get away with some. There are many examples - some good, some bad - where syntax has been twisted to fit a given musical pattern. 
 
Have you considered recording an MP3 and posting it somewhere on the web with a link from here? 
 
Phil.

Written by katejayne (17 comments posted) 17th February 2008
I really like the meaning,  
 
however: 
"One times too many  
 
One times too few  
 
I struck my Honey  
 
With the flu" 
 
The flu and few seem too obvious a rhyme, that doesn't seem to flow as easily as it could. I preferred the 
 
"One times too many  
 
One times too few  
 
I fought my marriage-  
 
Just like you"  
 
It seems to link more into the story of the lyrics. 
 
But, all in all, good- better than my attempts at ltrics! 
:)

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