‘Apparently, it's guaranteed not to be offensive in any of the major languages of the world.  Not picking a name which means "I've got a small penis" in Swahili is pretty important in these things.'

 ‘I think that was the Ford Pinto and it was Spanish.'
 
‘Whatever, the point is that if you or I had come up with a name it would be bound to be in use by some Internet porn firm in Brazil or a taxidermy company from Grimsby.'
 
‘But we only operate form this one place in England, what do I care about the rest of the world?  I certainly don't care about Grimsby.'
 
‘You just don't get the power of the Internet do you?  Some Saudi prince may come across our web site and decide to make us his supplier.  He's not going to do that if the name means "my camel's got the shits" to him is he?'
 
‘I think they are more into Mercedes than camels nowadays.  And I still think our name should tell people what we do.'
 
‘That is just so twentieth century.  Where do you think Amazon would be today if the were called ‘The book store' or something?'
 
‘Probably not selling sex aids.'
 
‘Exactly... What, do they really?  I suppose everything comes in brown paper packages from there.  But it just shows, doesn't it, you don't want a name that is going to limit what you can do.'
 
‘I still think it was a lot of money for these marketing consultants of yours.'
 
‘Think of it as an investment.  We didn't just get a new name we got a whole new rebranding'.
 
‘Branding - doesn't that involve placing white hot metal on your backside?'
 
‘You are just too cynical.  Think of the other things we got.  A new logo for a start.'
 
‘That's just the company name in some pretty colours'.
 
‘Pretty colours?  They are a carefully selected set of tints from our company palette flowing across the logo from a dark violet to a bright cyan to signify us emerging from the darkness of our previous existence to our bright new future.  It's to help differentiate us from our competitors'
 
‘So changing the name and writing in blue letters is going to start attracting hordes of customers is it?'
 
‘That and our new set of corporate values, yes'.
 
‘Ah yes, honesty, integrity and customer focus.  Money well spent on your consultants telling me that I shouldn't short-change our customers, promise they'll be irresistible to the opposite sex if they buy our stuff or tell them to piss off if they have a problem.'
 
‘I'm just not sure how well you are going to fit into our new corporate culture.'
 
‘Maybe, or maybe it's just that I can't see what was wrong with keeping the name ‘Joe's Café' in the first place.'