Great Writing - Home > For Kids > Murray & Solomon - Solomon Finds His Talent
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1888 guests online and 7 members online
For Children
Murray & Solomon - Solomon Finds His Talent
By CFG1985
09 October 2007

This is the one of the three Murray & Solomon stories that I am least happy with. It's shorter than the other two, so I'd really like some advice on how to pad it out.

I was keen to introduce Solomon's singing voice in the stories, as to me it's his most  endearing feature!

Thanks,

Caroline xCx


Murray & Solomon Chapter 2 – Solomon Finds His Talent

Murray was a very agile cat. He could leap up onto the window sill or a table from a great distance without even stumbling – and back down off the work-surface again even more quickly if he heard Fraser or Caroline coming in to tell him off!
 
His little brother often watched him in awe, wishing that he was as elegant and strong as Murray. Solomon, however, was younger and smaller than Murray, and often struggled to leap as high as or as stealthily as his brother. There had been many occasions when poor Solomon had tried to chase Murray up onto the window ledge, not quite made it and fallen straight back down again, leaving Murray laughing at him from above. Murray was very proud that he was so much better at leaping than Solomon. After all, it would never do for the young rascal to better his elder!

Solomon began to feel a little miserable. What was he good at? Murray was such a clever cat, and although Solomon loved and respected him, he was desperate to find something that he was good at, too.

“Ah, your time will come,” Murray said wisely, “It’s not your fault you are young and weak. Now I, of course, couldn’t possibly better myself,” – and with this, he stretched regally – “but you, Solomon, have a long way to go before you reach my standard.”

One day, Fraser was scooping some cat food into the dishes belonging to Murray and Solomon. He was taking ages to do it, and both cats were weaving in and out of his legs, getting impatient. Solomon was meowing very loudly, trying to tell Fraser to hurry up.

“Oh Solomon, what a funny little voice you have!” Fraser laughed, “You’re quite the little singer, aren’t you?”

After their dinner, Murray washed himself and wandered off to decide where he would like to sleep for that afternoon. Solomon wasn’t ready to sleep, so he went to find something to play with. To his delight, he found a moth in the bathroom, and busied himself with chasing it. He growled and hissed at the moth as it flitted and dived just out of his grasp. Caroline was walking past the bathroom just as Solomon finally caught the insect, and heard the little cat purring and squealing with pleasure. Caroline stuck her head around the door and grinned.

“You make such lovely noises, Solomon!” she told him. Then it suddenly dawned on him – that was his talent! Fraser had pointed it out at dinner, and now Caroline too! He was a singer!

Solomon could barely contain his excitement. He rushed out of the bathroom and downstairs to tell Murray. He found his big brother sunning himself in the lounge window.

“Murray! Murray! There’s something I can do better than you!”

Murray didn’t look too impressed. Solomon continued,

“Fraser said I was quite a little singer, and then Caroline said I make lovely noises! Like this – meeeowwl, meeeowwl, prrrrl, prrrrl, meeeOWWL!”

The bigger cat looked at him stonily. Murray himself didn’t have much of a voice – in fact the only time he really made a noise was when he was being petted. Then he purred like an engine! But singing? Murray had to admit it – Solomon did have a fine voice.

“Well, yes, I suppose you do make some interesting sounds,” said Murray slowly.

“Interesting sounds?” said Solomon proudly, “I am the best, most talented singing cat in the whole world! Meeow-ow-oowwl!”
 
And with that, Solomon danced out of the room, purring and meowing at the top of his voice.

“You don’t have to get carried away!” Murray shouted after him, feeling a little bit jealous. He was supposed to the talented one! He licked his lips, shook himself all over, and started to leap on and off the window sill as fast as he could.

“At least Solomon will never be able to jump as well as me!” Murray bragged to himself. Suddenly, Murray caught the sight of a little black cat sitting in the doorway of the room. Solomon! Murray puffed out his chest and prepared himself for the best leap of his life. He had to show that little imp that he was still in charge! One, two, three... and...

“Meee, meee, meeooo, prrr-MOWL!” cried Solomon from the doorway.

Murray stiffened, mid-jump, lost his footing and stumbled! Before he knew where he was, he was in a heap in the middle of the floor with his legs all tangled up.

“Oh Murray!” said Solomon, alarmed, “Are you all right?”

Murray grunted and stood up.

“You... you just put me off,” Murray replied. He glared at Solomon, rubbed his ear, and stalked out of the room indignantly. He wasn’t hurt – but his pride certainly was!

Poor old Murray.


C. Garlick   Saturday, 6th October 2007   ©

Reviews

Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 9th October 2007
Your cat characters are endearing, Caroline.  
 
Why not have a third part to the episode where Solomon is so entranced at his own voice that he lets rip when he's succeeded in managing to leap onto the work surface, and so gets caught when Caroline comes to find out what he's singing about? Then he and Murray are equal, and equally naughty. 
 
One thing - is Solomon really Murray's brother? I thought Fraser and Caroline adopted him, as they did Murray?
Good point!
Written by CFG1985 (7 comments posted) 9th October 2007
No, Murray and Solomon are not genetically related. Fraser and I always refer to them as brothers, though! 
 
I suppose I assumed children would relate to the annoying little brother/grown-up big brother relationship. Can they be adopted brothers, do you think? Or could this cause problems? :?  
 
I like the idea on padding out the story, thanks for that fellpony! Although I did have to re-read the part where it says "he lets rip" - that means something slightly different in my house, and Solly would get more than a telling off if he did that on my work-top! ;)
hee hee
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 9th October 2007
I should have written "celebrates vocally", shouldn't I? 
 
You could get round the "brothers" thing (and I agree kids would appreciate the sibling rivalry line) by making Murray "adopt" Solomon as his brother, and call him that explicitly, in the first story.

Written by CFG1985 (7 comments posted) 9th October 2007
I did think it was implied in the first story, as Fraser introduces Solomon to Murray as his "new little brother" from the outset. I appreciate, though, that I could deepen the meaning. Saves any awkward questions from inquisitive kids, I guess!

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

Next item