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Poetry
The Last Ships
By Toad
13 October 2007
I believe that this is the first poem I ever wrote. I was probably 15 or 16. I remember writing it out of the blue when I saw an online ad for a poetry contest. I think it's on par or better than most of what I write now...
I shan't edit this one, not a single comma, out of respect for my younger self, but I hope you enjoy.

The houses on stilts that stand by the beach

are the last ships

that swept across the ocean from Europe,

as the Indian watched from the shore,

and saw the houses stomp onto the sand,

mounted on giant mechanical legs,

with rifles pointed out the windows

and light from the television glowing

strangely

onto their world,

stamping out the fish,

and knocking the buffalo off their feet,

as the Indian fell with them,

hitting the ground hard, stirring up a dust

that would not faze the house’s inhabitants,

who walked on straight to the next coast

not looking down

to see their feet stepping on the graves.

Reviews

Written by andybyers (171 comments posted) 13th October 2007
Wow, this actually pretty good. It wanders a bit at first but I think it really finds itself and picks up speed around the "stamping out the fish" line. I think the casual uncaring nature of the people spoken of better captures the attitude than other works that ascribe a deliberate, evil attempt.

Written by audrie (444 comments posted) 13th October 2007
If you were only fifteen when you wrote this, it shows what effect history can have on youngsters. 
Very emotive and powerful. Well done.

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 13th October 2007
Yep, liked this too. In deference to your intro, I'll say no more. 
 
Phil

Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 13th October 2007
I really like this, there are shades of 'War of the Worlds' meets The World of Man. Good stuff. 
 
Steve.

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 22nd October 2007
Very good indeed, although I didn't get all the images. When exactly is this set? I could imagine the following: In the past (arrival of the Europeans in America or India, but what does the television do there), in the present (somewhere in Latin America) or in the future (because of the walking machines)...
Fledermaus:
Written by Toad (100 comments posted) 22nd October 2007
The poem intends to connect the past with the present; telling the story of the coast to coast imperialist sweep of North America, but treating it as more than just history. The Indian watching the houses from the shore is in modern times, observing the world that has been created on the ground that once held his own civilization, now crushed. Rifles, buffalo slaughter etc. did the crushing, and now televisions and beach houses are the legacy.  
Furthermore, the image of "houses on stilts" is a disdainful one, because these are summer homes of super-rich folks who parade their status by building their house so close to the ocean that it actually needs to be elevated to avoid minor flooding. 
 
As always, many thanks to all for the feedback.

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