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Larry who?
By BrianRobertNeal
13 October 2007

This is pure fiction. I wondered what it must be like to find that when your comedy-duo partner died that you had been no more the than the rear end of the Pantomime Horse.


The ageing comedian looked across at the young reporter who was sat on the opposite side of the kitchen breakfast bar. He started the conversation,

"Thank you for coming to see me, I don't get much attention from the press nowadays other than when somebody dies and they need a "quote".

Well, who would have thought that
two sixteen year old working class boys would by their thirties have become “Household Names”? Our Christmas shows set new records for variety TV viewing figures. The public loved us. No, correction, they all loved him. That is of course Harry Hedge. Me, Larry Lane
, was just his foil. When he died, that was the end of the act. Nobody came knocking at my door.

The Christmas following his death there was no new Show for they merely patched together clips from our previous extravaganzas. All of our shows are endlessly recycled on Cable TV and the royalties keep me a very rich man. But it could have been so different.

Harry Hedge, actually Benjamin Goldman and me had been at an audition. I was an impersonator. I did all the “child prodigies” e.g. Shirley Temple, Mickey Rooney, Judie Garland etc and some of the adult heroes, John Wayne, Laurence Olivier and so on. However Benjamin was told that he would have to come to another audition as they were running out of time and would have to stop with me.

Mrs Goldman said that we were a double act and the funniest thing she had ever seen. So we were pushed out onto the stage. I started my normal act; Benjamin ad-libbed and got all the laughs. I was getting more and more angry as the act proceeded and at the end turned and threw a punch at him. I missed but down he went and lay on his back as though unconscious.

The Impresario said that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Book them for a season at Maplins. Though we had our “ups and downs” as an act we finally hit the top spot. We started as equal parties and were seen as the new Laurel and Hardy but slowly Harry came out on top.

Our PR showed us as being bosom buddies but in reality we disliked each other immensely. We only met during rehearsals and shows. Whereas I would go out for a drink with the “team” he would go off home. Despite this his publicity machine created a sociable loveable rogue image that was far from the truth.

I had lots of contacts in the variety world and when Tommy Cooper was struck down and couldn’t do a Charity Show, I was asked if I’d take the job on. I said yes. I found out later that they’d asked many before me, including Harry and they’d all said “no can do”.

I had the MC announce me as “The great Tommy Cooper’s little brother”. I came out in all the gear,
Fez, ill fitting suit etc and started Tommy’s act. Tom was in the audience having signed himself out of hospital. I was half way through the first act, when looking at Tom, who was killing himself with laughter, I decided to ask if there was anyone in the audience who owned a Fez
. Tom got up and came onto the stage.

It was wonderful, each corpsed the other and it was just the most delightful experience for me, Tommy and the audience. At the interval I asked Tom if he would like me to stand down. He’d said no, it’s going well why don’t you ditch that repulsive partner of yours and pair up with me? We’ll be billed as Larry and Tommy cos Tommy and Larry is cumbersome. What he was really saying was that it would be "equal billing" and "we" would be the star.

Unfortunately Tom passed away a few weeks later and that was that. At his wake, his widow asked me to do my Tommy act for he’d loved working with me and had been looking forward to a new direction in his career. I gave it my best. The act went down well. I capped it all by bursting into tears and telling the mourners that the happiest moment in my career was when I was on stage with Tom. It saddens me to think what might have been.

When Harry died, I refused to give any comments saying that I was too upset and would rather keep my own counsel. I did not attend the funeral claiming that ill health prevented me from going.

So here I am ignored and forgotten. But am I bitter? Am I resentful? I bloody well am. I wish that I’d given Benjamin my audition place and come back the next month or ditched him before we became too famous.

Oh by the way, the hair is mine."

The reporter smiled politely and asked, "Tell me Larry what was it like to have worked with one of the "Comedy Greats"

Brian Robert Neal 2007

Reviews

Written by tpowell (105 comments posted) 13th October 2007
Hi Brian 
Enjoyed this, very poignant and well written. I often wonder if comic duos get on well in real life, Ant and Dec for example; they're so chirpy and cheery on screen but is it all just an act? 
Tommy Cooper is a legend, I loved him, a very funny man and a complete genius. 
 
Tracey

Written by Lizzy (790 comments posted) 14th October 2007
Yes, a good read. 
You do often wonder about these stars and what they're really like. Their publicity machines would have us believe that they are multi talented and can do anything, including writing best sellers! 
A well written piece 
Lizzy
Watto Tracey
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 14th October 2007
Thank you. I agree about TC and sad thing is that he did "kill himself with laughter" for died on stage doing a charity show that he had been advise dnot to do, 
 
Re posting PM Nascent for advice. 
 
Brian
Watto Lizzy
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 14th October 2007
Thank you. Yhere is a seemingly cuddly loveable imp who is in fact excetionally unpleasant and humourless in real life. 
 
Brian
Watto Lizzy
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 14th October 2007
Thank you. Yhere is a seemingly cuddly loveable imp who is in fact excetionally unpleasant and humourless in real life. 
 
Brian

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 14th October 2007
Bitter show biz types - no time for either end of the horse. 
 
Your piece exposed it well. 
 
Phil.
Watto Phil
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 14th October 2007
One cuddly imp when nhe'd done his bit would lower the mike then tighten it so the next act was thrown! 
 
Thanks for your time and comments, 
 
Brian

Written by Asferthecat (834 comments posted) 14th October 2007
Shows great insight. I'm glad you said it was fiction or I would have thought 'Ernie Wise'. 
Like most of your work, it inspires further thought.
Watto TC
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 15th October 2007
Thank you, 
 
Brian

Written by Leigh (226 comments posted) 15th October 2007
This is great and very believable. Love the 'what might have been' idea with Tommy Cooper.
I agree
Written by audrie (451 comments posted) 15th October 2007
with asferthecat in that I also thought of Ernie Wise. I have read that Eric Morecombe was very unpleasant to little Ernie, and I remember seeing an interview with the pair of them, when Eric virtually sneered at Ernie and said of course He was the star. But he couldn't have got to where he was without the foil of Ernie. 
 
My ex met Eric once and said that although his wife was very pleasant, Eric was a miserable sod! 
 
Good piece of writing.
Watto Leigh
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 15th October 2007
I've only ever heard good about TC. The only criticism was his constant fear that he wasn't funny and so he kept pushing himself and never really enjoyed his success. 
 
Thanks for your time and comments. 
 
Brian
Watto Audrie
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 15th October 2007
I only know about Tommy. It seemed to me that the surviving half always dropped like a stone. But that element was very true for Ernie. 
 
Thanks for your interesting comments perhaps I'd seen that interview and it was buried in my psyche. 
 
Brian.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 18th October 2007
It certainly kept me reading. I thought it a good idea to bring in a real person,it somehow made the characater more alive. It reminded me of a film about a comedian called Archie Rice with Laurence Olivier, can't remember the name.It had that same aura of bitterness and faded glory about it. Why is it that comedians always seem to be so damned miserable? 
Watto Bubbles.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 18th October 2007
Thanks for your time and comments. 
 
The film I think was "The Entertainer" 
 
By the way our fave Budgies latest complooks to be right down your street, 
 
Brian.

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