I recently began studying at Durham university and I've fallen in love with the town. I've tried to write about it without being twee or cliché.
I'm not sure about the title, but "Durham" seemed a bit unimaginative somehow...
Not silence at the cathedral,
and windows blooming like flowers,
but laughter beneath the yawning stonework.
Fingers twisted in the gown,
Dan in his best khaki. The whispered suggestion
of stealing the god-sized clock.
Not a poster of ornamental doorways,
or cobbles captured in watercolour.
But profanity at the door that always sticks,
words shelled by the half-moon overhang.
Broken ankles on a stilettoed Friday night.
Not barcoded tickets at the castle,
children and mannequins staring from recesses.
But warmth and spilt beer in the bar,
everything sweet and sticky.
Strangers pressing, always too close,
and mottled red legs beneath skirts.
Trees stretching down the river
as though yet to wake. The air over the bridges,
seagulls. A busker strumming Scarborough Fair
on the way to the shops. The Oxfam bookshop,
the market with cheap buckets and hair clips.
Cafés that want to stay hidden
with chipped sewing-machine tables.
Not the small, shiny pictures
from pamphlet, website. Presenting only
for the eye, but the raw teeth, feet
and hands of it. The movement of the river,
the swirl of the people,
screams on a Saturday night.
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lots here Written by fellpony (1536 comments posted) 14th October 2007 |
| lots here that echoes my own college days (which were in another ancient city, Chester). So, from that point of view, it works. I don't know though if the "not" beginnings work as well as the stanza which begins "trees ...". Maybe "broken" ankles, too, might be better as "twisted" ones; "broken" seems a bit over-dramatic? |
Written by Phil (6549 comments posted) 14th October 2007 |
Reminded me of my time in Lincoln too. The 'nots' also stood out to me. Know what you were doing but there's perhaps too much between 'not' and 'but.' Your style seems to have changed over the last few posts. Could be Durham's influence! Phil.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3237 comments posted) 14th October 2007 |
I get the impression it's a generic description of a city. It could certainly be Nottingham too, but this is quite an attractive feature of the work. I'm surprised you say you've fallen in love with the place. I didn't sense any warmth or affection for the ciity in the writing; lots of clever and cryptic observations, but no love. I think it was the repaeated word "not" and the detached viewpoint. Well observed, but too impartial Jane |
My city... Written by patterjack (1133 comments posted) 14th October 2007 |
... has little that is similar, perhaps unfortunately -- but it has its own southern hemisphere beauty. The same applies to the sandstone Victorian Gothic of my own university. I remember Durham and all your reviewers' place names with affection , and am in a way quite happy that this was more of a travel brochure than a poem-- vey nostalgic for me . Thank you patterjack |
Written by Fledermaus (3207 comments posted) 14th October 2007 |
There's something about real university towns (as opposed to towns which just happen to have an university). I often visit Leyden nowadays, and it's certainly one of the most beautiful and romantic towns in Holland. Other towns have canals and medieval houses too, but they lack this strange atmosphere of both education and a relaxed lifestyle... Never been to Durham, but I imagine it must be the same there. |
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 15th October 2007 |
Glad I managed to inspire some good ole reminiscing. fellpony- I wasn't too sure about the "Not" beginning either, but I feel that if the whole thing were structured like the "tree" stanza, it would be a bit chaotic. That is my favourite of the lot, though. The broken ankle is from a story I heard about a fresher who did just that in her first week, walking on heels over cobbles. So it does happen, if not very often. Phil- it has? I hope for the better! Jane- thanks very much with pointing that out. I think you might be right, that I maybe got carried away with the wording of the piece and consequently lost the heart of it. It's always difficult to keep those two vital points in balance, I find. Maybe I will be able to write a better piece once I've lived here a bit longer "know" the town properly. Thanks for the comments everyone.
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