Last of the life Sentence poems. Do we have any notion of what coma is really like?
What singing is it,
That you – everyday
Sing to me?
My self won’t sing.
Lips forever closed
I want to sing with you.
What hope you do sing
What joy.
What do I know of joy?
What dancing is it,
That you – everyday
Dance before me?
My self won’t dance.
Legs forever idle
I want to dance with you
What grace you do dance
What freedom.
What do I know of freedom?
I think I felt your touch
Did you move me?
Was it yesterday?
Was it your caress
or my longing
that cooled my brow?
I think. I dreamt
I touched you.
Was it real?
Was it my arms
That held you close
So long ago?
What despair is it,
That I – seeing you
Everyday suffer?
You won’t despair.
Love compels you
Never to despair for me
What anguish I feel
What grief
What do you know of grief
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Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 15th October 2007 |
| Powerful stuff. I thought it worked well, and could be interpreted as a perspective on many disabilities, not only coma. |
Written by audrie (451 comments posted) 15th October 2007 |
Who knows where we go when in a coma? My ex was in a terrible car crash in France a month ago. His partner killed and he was in a coma for almost a month. He can now recognise people but he talks nonsense about people coming to see him(who haven't) and the 'family business' (non existent). He has 'post traumatic amnesia' and talks about his partner and says she has been to see him, but doesn't seem to know she is dead. It is another world to those who suffer it, but we can only hope that he will recover. I found your poem extremely moving. Beautiful in a very sad way. |
powerful Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 15th October 2007 |
But distracting. I couldn't handle the form, but the essence of it is brilliant. keep working on it clo |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 15th October 2007 |
As the others, I found this a powerful piece. The form was a little distracting, but it moved through its phases really well. Difficult to do touching without being over sentimental, but this pulled it off in fine style. Phil. |
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