READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1615 guests online and 6 members online
Poetry
Is it?
By PerpetualShading
15 October 2007

I am aware this isn't great, suggestions and helpful comments are welcome.

Is it a lie to say “I love you”?

Is it a lie when you say you’ll be there?

When all you ever do,

Is pretend to care?

 

I can’t tell you anything

For fear of what you’ll think

Honestly right now,

I’m teetering on the brink.

 

You say it’s not me

That it was you all along

But thinking about it now

I can’t stay forever strong

 

I thought you were the one

Thought you were the best

Amazing kind and sensitive

Defeating all the rest

 

All your false tales

All your declarations of love

They’ve lead me to one thing

You’re none of the above

Reviews

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 15th October 2007
Welcome to GW PS. Plenty of angsty love poems out there and on here, but this has the benefit of taking us through a process. It's quite a pithy end - not sure that fits entirely with the rest. 
 
I think this has potential, but for me needs some specific events in it to give it strength. 
 
Phil.

Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 17th October 2007
Where emotions are concerned, you often don't see clearly. I used to tell my daughter that in choosing a husband, it is a good idea to choose someone who would be your best friend anyway, even if you were not marrying him. It doesn't sound as if HE would be your best friend, when you seem so unhappy with him. Move on.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item