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Poetry
[Sic]
By Flippy_D
24 March 2005
I happened to write two anti-religious poems in a row, so sue me. This was entered for the Christopher Tower poetry competition 2005, and won first prize in my school's poetry competition.

[sic]

Place yourself, maybe, high in twinkling aether. Feel the syrupy light glisten wetly on raw skin.
All twinkles, inane rhymes.
Then a smoky claw plunges upwards and plucks you from stars,
An apple from Eden.
You are being dragged by the heavy wrath-flushed wraith through Clouds: Slab; Slab; Slab.
They break on you like a mortar, and air is chill shrapnel.

We are now flying at 32,000 feet. In the event of an emergency, please turn to God.

It's a whiteness now, Angel, and you have struck the smouldering ground, but the hole is in yourself.
Haul your Soul out of your eyes and pan it through pity, but be wary, newness, all that glitters is not
High in delicate air, playing stolen eagle bones, you short-sighted Sun Warrior.

Give me, give us, our crush of air,
My restraint and cute idiocy.
Many skulls stare at many deities, sockets burning with invisible and fevered exclamations.

Play on, Inquisitor, you're such a fine man,
(Do it like nobody's watching),
You alone know the truth: That fingernails are eyes and blood, sight.
Please return verdict to 'Civilisation@world.net'.

Because God is there, leaning on us.
Surely we can feel him, and are glad. Happy are ye.

Faith? Faith! I can't see properly,
Where are you?

Reviews
if?
Written by no1butClo (339 comments posted) 8th January 2006
well hello 
 
I like this, but i'm gonna suggest a couple of things: 
 
- regulate the stanzas within them selves a lil bit? it's just that i keep having to go back and look at bits of it to get a picture. the images jump around alot. 
 
- "short-sighted Sun Warrior": Sun Warrior doesn't seem to go. I can't work out why, it's hard to tell because this poem (like a couple of mine) is obscure, not conventional, and so it's tricky to work out what needs changing. [still,i find thats half the fun] 
 
was the title meant to be the latin? i wasn't sure if it was or not, but i like the brackets, if only because its memorable. 
 
hope that was vaguely useful 
 
clo x 
 
 
Do it like nobody's watching
Written by no1butClo (339 comments posted) 15th April 2007
so you :p

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