Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Short S. > It's P.C gone mad, I tell you
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1108 guests online and 3 members online |
Shorts
| print friendly version | |
| It's P.C gone mad, I tell you | |
| By Bottleblondesurfer | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19 October 2007 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
This was partly inspired by Cat's piece, Asexual Harassment [ which I heartily recommend] and partly by my ambition to join Fellpony and become a grumpy old woman. I liked the idea of inanimate objects becoming P.C If any of this sounds familiar, try to think where you heard it. It's a monologue but I put it here because..........Oh, I don't know. "I’m not general purpose. I’m a specialist, one of a kind. Don’t confuse me with those substandard finger bruisers you buy in cheap stores. I’m quality; best Sheffield steel. I’m strictly for dressmaking, that’s what it says on the blade. That’s what her ladyship, here, bought me for. This was a nice household when I moved in. You met a nice class of utensil .Now you can’t move for alloys and synthetics. They don’t know how to behave and they don’t last. Mind you, she knows no better; all I ever get to cut is nylon and polyester. It’s so humiliating. The other utensils laugh at me, even the cooking knives. Traitors I call them. They’re best Sheffield steel like me but there is no solidarity there. So I prefer to keep myself to myself. The others think I’m being aloof and superior; well I am superior to most of them. I don’t care if they call me elitist. The cutlery think they are special but they’ve got that nasty…..well… colouring. They’re electro-plated but you can’t say that now. You have to say they’re “treated” .We all know what that means. I used to get on well with the saucepans but they all seemed to have gone. I think its all those Woks coming over here and taking their jobs. They can’t speak the language and they smell something awful. One of the forks called me a utensilist the other day just because I said all paper clips looked the same. Well, I mean, can you tell them apart? But, Oh no!…. Now we have to pretend that they are all individuals. I’ve nothing against them…. Some of my best friends are paper clips, but quality will out. I refuse to go along with all this P.C. rubbish. Product Correctness is just democracy gone mad. I believe in calling a spade a spade. Mind you, the spade doesn’t! He claims it’s a demeaning term. He now demands to be called…wait for it. A manually operated device designed to facilitate agricultural improvement. Pretentious or what!! It’s just stupid, they couldn’t even get all that on the handle. I prefer the company of the sewing box. The lid helps to keep the riff-raff out. It’s like a gated community. The needles are quite good company, though I don’t always see eye to eye with them which is a shame, as there’s not much else to them. Just a little joke which, of course, is considered utenilist now. The needles don’t mind, they’re happy to take a joke, so they tell me. I think I’m just misunderstood. I’m just waiting to be dropped down the back of the sofa again, get a few days peace and quiet. The whole household has gone to the dogs "
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Bagheera's already seen it!
 Previous item
|
Next item
|
|---|