This is a the opening prologue for a Book/Radio Monologue. As presented it is simply a draft and will probably go through several permutations before final copy. It is the story of a boy growing up in the fiercely Republican community of South Galway. It is autobioghraphical and all the events actually took place; save they all appear here heavily disguised as fiction. The same is also true of most of the names of those involved. I plan around twelve chapters and the piece below is around half of the first chapter, or prologue. When I have time I will post up the second half which deals with the assassination of Lenny McGreal and my father's funeral. Thereafter the story begins in 1920.
It is perhaps no accident that there has been no serious fictional presentation of the geist of Irish Republicanism since the doomed publication of Ernie O'Malley's ' On Another Man's Wound ' near fifty years ago. Roddy Doyle had a stab at it; but was too far removed from his subject matter to make any impact. I am unsure as to how this will be received. I am toying with offering it to Penguin Ireland as probably the only mainstream publisher who would touch this, but first I would like to garner in a few impartial opinions, including those of GW. Please: I am not interested in some freshwater guppy tellling me there is a comma missing in line 203. I am more concerned with the impact of the content material and the use of the venacular to tell the tale. This is for a predominantly Irish audience with resonance in the United States and to a lesser extent Australia. In many respects it resembles ' the Sopranos meet the Waltons. But if so; so be it.
Incidently I have always loved Guns. I learnt to shoot - as did every Galway. nay Irish - farmer's son, aged twelve and owned my own rifle at fourteen. I still have a firearms licence. Trouble is guns mean something qualitatavely different to the Irish schooled in the black pantheon of Republicanism.
Some say the Devil went an' died;
Aye th' Devil went an' died;
So th' Devil went an' died
Got buried in Kilarney.
Others say he rose again;
Aye they say he rose again:
So th' Devil rose again
An' joined th' British Army......
Yipeeeeeeeeeee!! First light!..... Hey!
Is iontach an radharc e.....
Iontas a dheanamh de rud!....
See Dawn struts th' dancin' streets o' daybreak, th' like o' th' sham'less whore. Ain't she just th' soldier's woman!? Gaudy, gilded goddess! Flashin' Hope t' any man enought t' take her. Don't yous just love that bitch!? An' hey! Don't we all of us want a taste o' what it is she's offerin'.....A chance......Just a chance...... Away an' look again now..... See the sun in his golden chariot rides f' out God's furnace...... See that crazy blazin' bastard fire th' curtain cloud o' dark an' turn all them rooftops t' molten bronze.............. Now sand slips th' hourglass an' time's astride a boltin' stallion........So much t' win.... So much t' loose!....... The world's a very wide an' wonderful place, don't yous think? Turns on its axis every day, so they say.......But wait on th' now...... Is it not also true however soon'st yous is up; th' Devil's always up ahead o' you!....It is true! .... Hear me talkin' now will yous.... However fastest you is stridin' up th' road t' rest an' redemption; yous'll find you is always walkin' in His shadow......
An' by the way. Have you noticed? The first creatures you ever set eyes on of a morn,.... is rabbits!?.. Rabbits......? Yeah......Rabbits.
No matter. What I'm gettin' round t' sayin is, can't we all of us point t' somethin' that maybe moulded our lives? Somethin' set in stone. Is it not a fact!? Made us what we are. Somethin' seminal, in a manner o' speakin'. Somethin' that forms our every day. That shapes our every footprint from first falterin' steps t' eternity. Isn't it so? Maybe that somethin' was at birth. Or happened long before we was thought of. No matter. There's always that somethin'........ Don't you think?
With me, would yous credit it, I can actually put a date on it. No jossin'. An actual time on the clock even: 3.24 pm on the 26 April 1920. That's when the South Galway Number 2 Brigade of Michael Collins Irish Republican Army stormed the Auxilliary Police Barracks at Ballynacraig in County Cork. In the firefight that followed th' B'hoys shot dead Superintendent Henry Stenning and mortally wounded two other Service Auxilliaries. That's Tans t' yous. Good riddence t' all o' them cunts, I says. They fuckin' deserved it. An' oh yes. I almost forgot. A British Regular Army sentry gotten snuffed as well. Poor dumb bugger of a kid got posted as th' resident scarecrow an' his head got turned b' two pretty birds. Obviously hadn't boned up on his Bumper Book of Irish Ornithology. Well someone should have told him we got monstrous big bad birds o' prey in Ireland. Oldest trick in the book that. But always works.......Mind, they didn't actually shoot him. Cut th' bastard's throat on account o' they didn't want no noise; an anyhow they was short on bullets. Seventeen he was. Some mother's son. Came f' Burnley, or somewhere. Who cares now anyhow.
Point is my Daddy lead th' Brigade. An' th' attack. Thomas Joseph Connolly. ' Big Joe ' as he was called. And my Mammy, Kitty Shine as she was then. Along with Pearse Ponchas o' Rossa; Paedar Connolly; Sally McStiophann; Aidan Bews; Eoin McAteer an' Donovan Mc Ginnis- Dog's Teeth they used t' call him 'cause th' bastard never let up on nothin'. Out o' earshot mind. An' only amongst his survivin' friends. [ An' you could count them on the fingers of an amputee ]. Sure there were one or two others. But since a few o' them got relatives still servin' Th' Cause, best less said about them the better.
They freed two o' th' West Cork Brigade's most wanted ' Altar Boys ' who'd bin lifted b' th' British Army on account o' they got caught misbehavin' wi weapons. Sean McDiamarda and Hurlingham Strong.........Oh yeah. There was one other flit th' trap that day. Danny Lennehan. Celebrated folk singer and cuddly ginger head psychopath. Had an interest in buildin' toy trains in his spare time; that is when he wasn't out an' about assassinatin' his nearest and dearest. Became Chief o' Staff o' th' Officials f' th' whole o' th' West of Ireland, he did, so he did.
'Course they had th' Brits after their arses f' that day off an' would yous believe I still got my first picture o' my folks as mugshots glarin' out from a poster: 'WANTED FOR MURDER'. Nice snap o' th' Mammy mind. Had her hair bunned up wi' them sparkin' eyes th' like o' sunshine on water. Dandy bit o' jazz. Quite understood how she was such a fetch f' th' Da. Even th' Brits couldn't spoil that. Both finished up spirited away t' America courtesy o' the Irish Republican Army Travel Agency 'Holidays Abroad ' scheme. Stayed there in Boston an' married. Then come back t' Ireland under th' Amnesty followin' on Partition. The Da settled down t' farm th' family fields wi' his two brothers.The Mammy t' bring up children an' keep house, as was th' way o' things in them days. Very traditional.
But as was also th' way o' things, that wasn't all that was very traditional. You see Republicanism, Irish style, isn't somehtin' you relinquish. Leastways not voluntarily. Once yous in; yous in f' life. There's no ' Oh I think I'll take early retirement a' buy that little bungelow I always bin after wantin'. Oh no. Ooooooooooooh no. The only way out is through th' churchyard. An' that's when th' Squadman, th' Gaisioch hi'self, fires that lone volley over yer coffin t'announce t' all yous is away t' meet yer maker - in many cases that's a funny lookin' feller wi' two horns an' a tail. Only then you get t' rest in peace if you have served th' Cause. An' in pieces if you haven't. Till then yous is always on call, whenever it comes. An' believe me that Batphone will ring. An' when it does, no ifs; no buts. You're on active service.
All o' which is b' way o' gettin' round t' explainin' why th'Da, though he didn't give up his day job, put in those extra hours after nightfall as Chief Executive of th' South Galway Sundown Business Bureau. I once got t' hear o' th' crude term 'Gun Running? ' Ever come across it? Never quite certain what that meant. As I understood it back home, th' Da was in th' respectable an' honourable profession o' ' Purveyor of Fine Weaponry to the Sporting Gentlemen of Galway'. Should have stuck it on th' side o' his cart wi' his coat of arms. Would have looked good, don't you think?
Hey! I have t' own up t' havin' a joss at th' duck-egg drivel logic o' th' Brits. Forever bangin' on about how guns was comin' int' Ireland. Jesus Jones! Guns comin' int' Ireland!!? Seven hundred years of violent insurrection. Followed b' a fuckin' fratricidal Civil War. Followed b' heavily armed neutrality 1939-45, [ th' 'Emergency', as we Irish call it ], expectin' invasion b' th' Brits or th' Gerries at any moment; an followed then by th' beargarden barney Upcountry! An' they is scratchin' theit balls wonderin' where th' guns is comin' from!!?? Comin' from!!?? Comin' from!!?? God's fuckin' donkey's fuckin' bare butt!! Has it not dawned on th' bonehead bosthoons, they isn't comin' f' nowhere! 'Cause Ireland is just about th' biggest fuckin' international arms dump this side o' th' risin' moon!!!
Its th' truth, I tell you! Hear me talkin' now will yous. I grew up on our farm in Galway. The House......Our farmhouse........ Excuse me. Did I say farmhouse? Pardon me. What I meant was Advance Field Heavy Ordinance Ballistics Depot. On account o' there was more arms an' ammo stacked up in that place that fuckin' Fort Apache! Five adults an' seven children there was livin' there. Alongside sixty four assorted rifles an' carbines; twenty six handguns - mostly Mausers an Lugers-; an' five Main Battlefield Assault weapons. [ That's Mortars an' Bazookas, f' those of you unacquainted wi th' savagery of manhood ]. John Wayne an' ten platoon o' Custer's Cavalry could have turned up an' tooled up there, an' hey! Guess what? No bastard would have noticed dickey shite! Come t' think of it no bastard did notice dickey shite cause they took good care not t' notice dickey shite. An' instead t' be busy gooseneckin' th' other way!
' Guns!? What guns? We never seen no guns.......Joe Connolly? Gran' feller. Always lookin' out f' folks an' does th' visitin' f' th' SVP. An' Herself puttin' out th' flowers f' th' church of a Thursday an' be takin' communion of a day. Lovely pair.....Guns?....Loadin' up a cart wi' rifles!??.......Naw, Guard o' Roucha.....Was probably just broomstaves or sommat yous heard of. Naw yous definately well mistook there.....'
Hey! No worries on that account. Th' stoats's well tied up in the sack. Mention o' firearms an' th' whole population o' South Galway comes over wi' a sudden take of amnesia.
Wasn't it th' Da summed it up more often than I can recall. It was his mantra. It may as well have been th' manrta f' th' whole o' th' bloodsoaked history of Ireland's tilt f' her freedom.
' Keep your head. Keep your counsel. But above all keep your guns '.
Wasn't it Cromwell said somthin' similar? Remember:
' Trust in God? Yea. Yet keep you your pistol whereat it may be handily had'.
Takes one t' know one I says. See you never know when th' sneaky bastard Brits might just nip back. Get my drift? In the playground as a nipper I remember we was fond o' singin' somethin' none too different.
' Talkin' t' th' English?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Its th' only fuckin' language
They ever understand. '
Now I readily own there may have been some smartarses who just might have bin askin' what in th' name o' slippy shite a pious an' decent churchgoin' Catholic family could possibly want wi' such fearsome, ferocious firepower?..........Well let me tell yous.... I'll give it to you straight......Rabbits.......There's yer answer. Rabbits. That's th' official explaination, mind. An' mind I can't answer f' those wi' a nasty suspicious nature what thinks that's all moonshine an' prefers t' atribute less innocent motives. Let God be th' judge o' them I say. No. The guns was all held legal, see. An' th' Guards always come round an' checked th' Licence Certificates was in order. That is when they could be arsed t' drag themselves away from other critical, pressin, police business, th' like o' a game o' dominoes; a brew; or a two hour trip t' th' Station Pookies f' a dump an' a smoke wi' a copy o' The Sportin' Life'. In fact I recall actually hearin' f' myself one o' th' gormless thaves rockin' up f' th' annual inspection. Hideous little hunchback dwarf o' a feller forever fond o' fartin down his nose, name o' Guard Donal Lynne. Used t' call him Trim on account of his well pressed uniform, since most o' th' other bastards looked as though they shared their's wi' th' Station nags.
Th' Da knew all th' Guards. An' all th' Guards knew th' Da. They knew who he was. An' more's th' issue; they knew what he was. Thats's why they afforded him rather more than a modest modicum o' respect, pussyfootin' around when theys rolled up t' do th' Snoop. ........Trickey business Gun Control. Specially in Ireland. An' specially since they got t' leakin' gas an' lightin' it Upcountry. I'm talkin' 1971. So yous realise it was all conducted very formal; in keepin' wi' th' strict stipulation o' Resolution 2541 of Dail Eirenne : ' An Act for the Control, Supression and Supervision of Dangerous Firearms in Accordance with Article Six of the Constitution of the Irish Republic, 1937'. Guards take it real serious. An' watchin' th' policeman and my father face eachother across th' scullery table it didn't take long f' me t' realise I was privileged to witness the Guardai Siochana, th' ageless sentinels of Ireland's freedom, in full execution of sacred duty; gravely preoccupied with the fearless enforcement of our nation's laws.
' Two Jacks an' a Queen. I'll see yous an' I raise yous four, Joe.'
Th' Da was fresh in from up th' top field. He'd still his boots on an' his dunker pushed clear clean o' his forhead, chewin' on his toothpick. He threw down his hand.
' No brag. That's me in an' beat, Donny.'
' That's two shillin' yous owe me, Joe', says the policeman. ' Mind, I'll take another sclog on account. .....Slainte!.....Mmmmmm. Jeeeze but that's good! Powerful fine hootch yous got here, Joe.'
The Da smiled. ' Pisses in it m'self, Donny. F' th' flavour yous understand.
' Whatever which', says the policeman. Makes a man forget which end he's t' piss from ever. Which reminds me. I 've forgot why th' fuck I'm here anyhow!?
Th' Da stroked his chin an' took a pinch o' shag f' his baccy pouch t' roll up. ' Somethin' about Gun Control, or somethin'.'
' Jeeeze! Th' fuck I am! ', the daft rozzer replies. ' That's it! Toss me them papers over here will yous , Joe. An' let's get shut o' this tit palaver.'
There was a wad of official lookin' documents. All wi' crests stamped on 'em.
' There you goes, Donny', says th' Da.
The policeman peered at the pages.
' Grand. .....Jeeeze! Hey! What th' fuck is all this horseshit gabble? Th' fuckin' words is in double dutch or somethin'.'
Th' Da leant across. ' I think yous got it downside up, Donny.'
Trim turned th' page an' bent an' screwed his eyeballs at th' fancy letterin' like some frog eyed freak closely examinin' its lunch.
'Th' very fuck I have! Yous a canny feller, Joe Connolly. There that's better. Fuckin' thing don't make no sense either waybut leastways we starts off f' th' off. ' Then he hands th' papers back t' th' Da. ' Awwwway Jeeze an' fuck me now if I ain't gone an' left me specs in th' saddle bag. Read it to me f' yourself, will yous Joe. I can't b' twatted t' get up off me butt t' get 'em. '
Th' Da peered at the first page.
' Says here yous is t' make a thorough an' detailed inspection o' th' depository where th' arms is kept......'
The policeman sucked an' gozzed into the fire. An' the fire spat back.
' Th' fuck I have! If Station thinks I got time t' go sniffin' round good Catholic Christian folks houses when there criminals an' Protestants abroad given th' run o' every highway th' length an' breadth o' th' Green, then they's even more do lally than a dope head donkey! Sign it will you, Joe, yerself an' put my monika on it too. Aye an' keep th' carbon. I'll take top copy f' th' records. Needs t' keep everythin' ship shape in case o' inspection f' Dublin. Mind th' last time them cocksuckers come round God was in shorts. Much I should worry. '
I watched my father still chewing on his toothpick. He signed in silence. Then read on.
' Says here yous is t' get th' signatures witnessed b' an independent person o' known, unblemished an' upstandin' character? '
The policeman snorted,
' Does it th' fuck! Well that rules out th' fuckin' entire population o' th' Republic of Ireland b' my calculation at present. An' why would they be wantin' t' waste hours lookin' t' rope in some soap tongued garsun t' tell us what we know already, eh? Hey, Joe. T' hell wi th' fuckin' stickybeaks an' their idle biddin'. Shove Callaghan's name down there will yous, Joe. New recruit f' over Duneen way. Th' ligs fuckin' illterate; not t' mention havin' th' savvy o' th' butcher's goose. Has t' get th' Sergeant t' sign f' him. Hey Joe. Here's grand craic! Would you believe f' th' last twelve month th' balloon head bromannah's bin collectin' his wages as Mickey Mouse! Waheeeeeh!! ..... Should be interestin' when they comes t' do th' audit, eh?' An' he guffawed th' like o' a mule on heat. ........'Now. Just a few places f' yous t' sign, Joe.' An' he blinked an' poked a brown stained fingerat th' foot of th' page. ' Here.....'
The policeman squinted so popeyed hard at th' page so I swear th' words would have jumped up an' bit him.
' An' here too, if yous don't mind.'
' OK? '
' Grand. Just grand. An' here too if yous will. Joe.'
' That it? '
' All done an' dusted f' another year, Joe.' says Trim, scoopin' up th' papers. An' oh yes. I've t' give you this. Spot o' bedtime readin' f' yous.' And the policeman handed th' Da a booklet entitled " Guns. Your Responsibilities ".
It was then Guard Donal Lynne cast a snivellin' leer at th' Da.
' Course if I'm a fussy sort o' feller I'm supposed t' actually get t' see th' guns too. Make sure they is all accounted f'. Make sure none's gone walkabout. But we don't need t' sweat on that one eh, Joe? I'm sure th' cupboard's all looked after, eh? An' them guns is all locked up safe and sound as th' sleepin' infant, eh? '
Swift as you swat th' pausin' fly, th' Daddy's eye caught an' fixed that o' Donny Lynne. For a moment they shared a look of mutual contempt frozen through an age of boundless and brutish antipathy. An' in that instant the whole of Ireland's bloody history passed between them. It was as though monsters thought long ago extinct has risen from the deepest deep of the ocean again to confront.
' Keeps th' key up th' crack o' me arse, Donny. '
Guard Donal Lynne broke a smile. And looked away.
' That right, Joe. Powerful brave feller as 'll go theivin' f' it there, eh? '
Th' Da now also smiled. He took a draw on his roll up an' gathered his share o' th' papers, handin' th' list o' firearms t' th' policeman.
Then it was the policeman's turn, as he cast a knowing glance down the long catalogue o' licensed weapons.
' Mind, Joe. Lookin' at this stack o' shooters you got stashed about here, a man could b' forgiven f' wonderin' what they's all for, eh?
Th' Da pulled his toothpick from out th' side o' his mouth an' himself spat into th' fire.
' Rabbits, Donny. Fuckin' rabbits. Fuckin' plague o' th' creatures hereabouts. Fuck th' state o' th' economy' An' fuck th' knobheads what's got us int' this state. What's Dublin gonna do about th' fuckin' rabbits, I says? What sort of an answer has Charlie Haughey got f' that one?' And he sat backin his chair eyeballin' Donny Lynne an takin' another long draw on his roll up.
The policeman looked away and laughed to himself, spittin' in th' fire again an' then, with a nod, left. Not noticin' how quickly th' fire spat back.
Sure. I knows what you is thinkin'. Yeah! Sure! Th' Guards knew what was goin' on. An' hey! Maybe some o' them was complicit. An' even them what wasn't, like th' Da said, they had lives, limbs an' some o' them litters. An' all o' them lived local. They knew what it said on th' tin. Special like that th' B'hoys always did what it said on the top o' th' tin. So stands t' reason, given a choice, they always plumbs f' " The Healthy Option". Yous hear me talkin'?
Soon'st th' door swung to, th' Da whistles f' me t' come over. I saw him sling th' booklet into th' flames that gorged on it th' like o' greedy chicks.
' Away over here, Mister.' An' he fished a brownie f' out under the clock on the mantel.
' Here's ten shillin', Mister. Be out tonight! Scoot! Yous understand? An' take yer cousins t' th' Flicks. Th' Mammy's away wi' Teresa t' yer Auntie Gracie's.' An' he flicked his nose wi' a wink. ' I've a Good Feller comin' round. Needs a dog what bites. Yous understand? '
Grand! Hey! Did I understand!? You bet I understood. Like cats have tails. Here me talkin' now will yous! That's th' great beauty o' being brought up b' a brotherhood o' sadistic, homicidal hoodlums. Yous get t' see so many super films. An' all free an' gratis. If I recall right that one was ' The Texas Chainsaw Massacre '. I remember 'cause a couple o' days later, Upcountry, th' B'hoys pulled over a carload o' Loyalist fuckers an' lies 'em down front o' th' motor an' whacks th' fuckin' lot o' them back o' th' head. Was all over in a jiffy, so they said. Was all over th' papers too. Said th' guns come in f' th' Republic. But Christ! They would say that wouldn't they? Mind, happened so often yous'd have t' be a sixpence short not t' think somethin's up when every time you gets t' go t' th' Flicks, straightways after some poor bastard gets wasted f' real!.........Well...... I'm exaggeratin'. Maybe not every time. Once I got sent out t' see ' The Italian Job ' an' none bought it no place I got t' hear of. Though there was th' big bank job at Kilensale. Three Mill slipped th' lead. But no one got hurt. Just like no one got caught. Hey! No sweat! Probably just coincidence.
But I'll tell yous one what wasn't no coincidence. Near th' last time I ever got shipped away of an evening, so t' speak. Not long afore th' Daddy hi'self got took away b' th' heart trouble he'd had all his life. It was when Lenny McGreal, th' Galway Grass, got took out. Remember th' Supergrass Trials? Again they was goin' on Upcountry, but everone in the Republic was followin' them. An' take my word there was a bottomless well o' serious. seeeerious, seeeeeeeeeeerious bad feelin' over what that fuckin' little stoolie done shootin' his gob off t' th' Brits........More's th' point grassin' up th' B'hoys is just about th' fastest way o' jumpin' th' queue f' th' issue o' your Death Warrant. Yes sireeeeee! That gets you Gold Standard GUARANTEED Same Day Delivery Service. An' Lenny had put th' finger on a lot of very big, brutal and unnatural cavemen.
'Course Lenny wasn't stupid. An' he got t' leg it t' Canada wi' th' aid o' th' witness protection honchoes. Yous all know Canada. Big place. Cold. Loads o' bears. Up t' yer neck in elkshit, sure yous couldn't find yer own cock t' slash wi' in that godforsaken place, let alone some slippery slyboots on th' run. Word got back he had renounced his violent past an' got hi'self a whole new identity - in more ways than one so it happens - an' had discovered " His true an' honest manifestation " .True an' honest manifestation!? True an' honest manifestation!!?? Pass me th' fuckin' sick bag will yous! Turns out he's come out as a Daiseyblower!! An' gone workin' down th' manhole!! An' he's livin' in peace an' harmony wi' his feminine persona, alongside...get this......get this......Marcel!!
Hey! Jesus H Christ! Shytehawke or what!! Picture th' scene. will yous, an' fuck me sideways if I lie.........Its th' annual meetin' o' th' B'hoys. Right?.... Th' great Ard fheis itself drawin t' a close. Right?... Big big Provo Pow Wow. Right?.... An' every wired up moosehead f' Cork t' Colraine is there. An' Danny Drumm hi'self, King Kong's bigger badder brother is in th' Chair. Hewn from th' Mountain o' th' Marble Giant this one. Missed his vocation when genocide went out o' fashion, he did, so he did.
' Any other business?' sez Cong.
' An some pinhead pipes up, ' Hey! Get this Chief! We just gotten a postcard f' Lenny! '.
' That so', sez Danny, crackin' his fingers, cuppin an' honkin' his hooter in his hand.
' Too right 't is so ', sez pinhead. ' Nice view o' a vase o' yellow pansies b' some cunt name o' Van somethin' or other.'
' I think yous means Van Morrison, ' sez Kong Senior.
' Huh!? Yeah! Him too ', pinhead pops back....... Sez " Hey there yous Bunnyfuckers!.....Missin' yous loads already!...... Mind not as much as I'll bet yous is missin' me. Not t' mention that missin' ten ton what went missin' f th' Republican Widows an' Orphans Missin' Persons Fund. An' am real sorry t' have t' go AWOL so sharpish after shoppin' th' fuckin' lots o' yous t' th' Brits. No chance t' say Toodle Pip. No need t' get sore though. What's a stretch amongst friends? An' I hears they is doin' free range eggs f' breakfast in Long Kesh these days, an' yous can order organic wi' a comlpimentry copy o' th' Racin' Post!..... Huge Hugs an' Big Sloppy Kisses.......Lenny "
' Oh! Hang about th' now, there's more', sez pinhead. " PS If yous is thinkin' on comin' after me, could yous be sweeties an' fetch them kinky pink lycras from me top drawer. I'm achin' f' Marcel t' see me in 'em.'
' That about it,' mumbles pinhead, passin' th' card t' th' Chief.
' Th' fuck it is', growls th' Great Ape, standin' an' wet fartin', droppin' his kecks an' wipin' his arse wi' th' aforementioned missive. Then he crumples it an' tosses it away, pullin' up his strides an' sinkin' back in his chair pointin' wi' forefinger an' thumb th' like of a gun; clickin' wi' his thumb like he's cockin' t' shoot......' Fuckin' Bang.... Fuckin' Bang..... Fuckin' Bang Bang Bang Bang!........Sweet darlin' fuckin' Bang!......'
Clever ol' Lenny. Yous have t' admire th' twinklin' balls o' th' thave. An' it seemed he's gotten clean away wi' it, when.... Oooops!...Bingo! His mother goes an' dies back home. Talk about bad timin'! Doted on her. Worshipped th' ground she trod. An' wait f' it.......Wait f' it.........TH' DUMBELL DOZY RUNT COMES BACK F' TH' FUNERAL!!!!! Would credit th' idiot brass neck o' th' lig!! Death wish or what!! An' that's not all. Barmy tosser turns up t' lead th' mourners in....A WHITE SUIT!!! An' we all know what that means. Leastways we didn't have t' worry about his wife an' children. Christ kiss my best friend's big an' beautiful butt! Loopy guy may as well 'ave marched th' whole way round Galway City wi' a sandwich board sayin' " Bent Mouth Pink Shillelagh Here. Come an' Wipe Me Yous Suckers ". 'Cause, hey! Surprise! Surprise! That's exactly what they gone an' done. Stevie Wonder could have seen it comin'. Mind, what none could have foreseen was th' way they gone an' done it. No...oh no. An' what no bastard could have drempt up was who it was what did it............
TO BE CONTINUED....
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Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 24th October 2007 | Hi Gerard, good to see you post again. There's colon when it should have been a semi..... First off, this really created a sense of time(s) and spirit the piece is placed in. It was a visual read in terms of context - odd as you didn't go in much for description - the broad stokes were enough to allow the imagination to fill the gaps. Enjoyed very much, but I suspect that's not what you want. So, in terms of crit/response... Use of vernacular. Not a problem for me. One or two words I didn't get straight away, but context provides all the clues an attentive reader needs. I've read a lot of Irvine Welsh. His Edinburgh ganster vernacular just takes a little time to tune into. That was the case here. I don't think that the vernacular would put off an interested reader, but it may initially disuade a casual one. I do wonder (and I say this from absolutely no experience at all) whether it might be worth 'turning down' the vernacular for the US market? About half way through there's a (visual) exchange between Da and Donny. That paragraph is written in standard English. This makes it stand out - effective for its importance to historical context, but it also jars a little. Perhaps I was more aware of this because of your pointer in the intro. The narrator's verbal ticks are effective and help establish voice. It did occur to me that if this were a short story, you balanced it well. However, as it's to be about 24 (?) times the length of this, it may start to irritate. An anachronism? Mention of the Batphone, while I'm sure not out of place in 1970s Ireland, kind of stood out and broke the flow. Might just be me, might be worth a look. Content material. You mentioned the Goodfellas (sp?) in the text. This does have a feel of that. Take the politics out - and there is a glorification of violence. Personally, I don't have a problem with that. This is, as you say, only the first half chapter. I can't think that in today's world, seemingly casual killing will go down well in the US particularly. Without knowing the tone of the end, it's hard to make a judgement on this. I confess, I have a very mainland outlook to Ireland - ie/ignorance. However, I always had and still do, sympathy with the common cause - just a complete horror of methods. I suppose with 9/11 etc this will have to be treated very carefully to appeal to modern sensibilities. Having said all that - I'm sure that's something you've considered and know far more about than I. From a mainland point of view - it wouldn't put me off reading - but that's just me. Hope at least some of my waffle is of use. Look forward to the second half. Phil. | I'm out of breath .....! Written by Bagheera (680 comments posted) 24th October 2007 | Gerald, you leave me feeling as if I've ridden the Mountains o' Morne on a unicycle, then swum every lake in Killarney the same day! You pulled me in with the first sentence and never let go all the way through: brilliant! It takes a couple of paragraphs to "tune in" to the vernacular, but I don't think that's a bad thing at all - though it might cause problems for US readers, many of whom have a degree of difficulty with Standard English ..... Personally I enjoy your style, which is very individual but at the same time reminds me of Joyce's "stream of consciousness" techniques. One line I thought leapt off the page was the allitterative " ... like th' Da said, they had lives, limbs an' some o' them litters. An' all o' them lived local.... " Just an example: there are other examples of deft little touches of class throughout. Looking forward to further instalments! | Apostrophes Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 24th October 2007 | Interesting... All this talk about guns reminded me of some relatives in a small South American country where everyone owns at least one gun. Except for a junta coup in the 1980s followed by a small guerilla war in some far away corner of the jungle nothing bad ever seems to happen there though. People use their guns to fill their fridge. Everything with winds is food, except for airplanes I presume. I must say that I might be a bit like the US readers Bagheera mentions. I could read this, but it went incredibly slow, not because of any Hiberno-English slang, but because of the many, many apostrophes. I supose the people going to read this for the radio are well aware of how to pronounce things. Most of us probably either know what a Galway accent sounds like, or don't. The first group is able to imagine it as spoken by a Galwegian anyhow, whereas the latter won't however hard you try (even IPA wouldn't be sufficient). So, although I like this approach in some of your shorter and more comical pieces, I think here it detracts from the content. How many of these pieces are going to follow? I'd certainly like to read more of what happened in the early days... Might perhaps come back to this later... | Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 24th October 2007 | winds... Er meant wings... Or four or more legs  | Excellent! Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 24th October 2007 | Many thanks Phil. That'a precisely what I wanted. I take on board much of what you say, but as Batman was quite popular in 70s Ireland I'm afraid we'll have to part company on that one. As for the rest, super; and really helpful. Also thank you for your PM to which I will reply asap. Slainte! PS My profuse apologies for missing that semi colon. It has completely ruined the piece! I shall have to rewrite as no publisher will touch it so fatally flawed!! | Slan Cara! Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 25th October 2007 | Thank you Paul. Generous to a fault as ever. I'm glad you enjoyed it - if such is the correct term. I hear what you are saying about the American market and Phill makes a similar point. As I am due to servre up to the publishers simply a first drafted chapter and synopsis I'll probably leave it to them to pull their faces if they wish. Even so I do understand what you mean and it wouldn't take much to overhaul the text. Next time I'm around I will look out for something of yours. You don't seem to have been about much. Hope that means you're busy in the real world. Slante! | Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 25th October 2007 | Hi Gerard, I had to do this in stages so I hope my comments are coherent. Just want to say I wasn’t aware the Irish were such a gun toting crew. My father and uncle were brought up on a farm in Letteragh and I don’t remember either of them with a gun. I believe my granddad had one but I don’t remember seeing it. Perhaps with the good men of Galway armed and ready, the Clare men felt safe. Then again, maybe as a girl I was excluded. Interesting, though. With that title I suppose some sort of comparison is inevitable. I wonder, is it just a working title? I do like it, it works on different levels, especially with the reference to O’Casey but wonder if you would have a problem with it for that reason. I think it would make a great book. I’d love to hear it spoken but it’s more likely to find a home over the water than here, in spoken form. Didn’t have a problem with the vernacular. You just read it with your ears and it starts to flow. It just wouldn’t have worked otherwise. The story grew from it. It had a lightness of touch and there was nothing there that you couldn’t work out. I’d resist any attempt to anglicise or Americanise it. [unless they throw shedloads of money at you] Hell, the if yanks can understand Bush ….. … It was consistent and had a lyrical flow. I’ve read books written in fractured, and phonetic English and the dense Scots vernacular of Irvine Welsh, as mentioned by Phil, and you just adjust to it. Incidentally this was a damned sight easier than Welsh. And I quickly tired of Will Self’s attempt, too. This had some life to it. It was shot through with your special brand of black humour. I liked the way that character was revealed through dialogue. After a while you get to picture them [and even smell the peat smoke]. All done with the minimum of description. Phil, mentioned the violence. You seem to get behind the violence so it doesn’t so it doesn’t feel gratuitous. It doesn’t jump out at you, its part of everyday world. It is the opposite of the goodfellas gangster violence where they will claim “it’s nothing personal”. Here it is personal; political, yes, but also very personal. It‘s the only possible response to the awful, unnecessarily brutal violence that was heaped on them for so many years, which is why the police and everyone connive at it, and hate informers. I see this as a theme running through the piece and I think people will respond to it. This isn’t just a verbal tour de force this has some heart. I hope this helps. It’s a reaction rather than a spell check or toll of missing commas, which, I gather, didn’t interest you. Cheers Jane
| Thanks. Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 25th October 2007 | Thank you Mouse. I really don't know what to say to you other than thanks for reading. You are quite correct in that this pitches better for the spoken voice and it may very well end up as a series of Monologues. I simply haven't decided. My instincts tell me that I should wait and see what Penguin make of it before rushing headlong to judgement. But your comments were most helpful and are appreciated. How about trying to get something of yours published? You should, you know. It maybe a stoney road to tread, but you learn so much, even from the rejection of others. And there is always a chance they may say yes. Posting here is fine and the feedback is generally useful. But nothing like the editor in the real world to give you a sense of perspective. I'll probably post up the finish of this over the next month or so depending on other committments. Cromwell inches along. Slowly. Oh so slowly. Again, many thanks. Slainte! | O' Casey: Eat My Pants... Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 25th October 2007 | Well Jane, if you didn't understand,who could I count on? Full marks for spotting the filch of the title from O' Casey. But he snaffled it from Yeats; and Yeats lifted it from Eoin na Finata's comedic poem. So I don't loose too much sleep over that. More to the point, a swirling and robust appreciation of the piece worthy of you. Thank you. Rest assured I shall resist all attempts to Americanise my use of the venacular. Or Anglicise it. The Irish can understand their own taught. And if the English have problems they should stop going to Oxbridge. Many thanks for a heartfelt review. Totally honest. If you didn't exist we would have to invent you. Slan Cara!
| Little to add ... Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 25th October 2007 | ... to the heartfelt reviews above , from a literary viewpoint . I had no troubles with the dialect etc and read along with great pleasure . One comment I can make is that last night on our ABCTV there coincidentally appeared * The Catalpa Rescue * written by that local lad Thomas Keneally. Know the story ? Looking forward to the rest of this piece . patterjack | English gobshytes! Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | Many thanks, Brian. There is little I too can add, save to say that I shall post the concluding piece as soon as time allows. As for the Keneally piece, to my shame I do not know it but will certainly look it up. Strangely when writing, reading is something there seems to be so precious little opportunity for. I am acquainted with Kenaelly, of course. And again, of course, he is local to you. Australia seems to have produced a rich vein of authors over the last twenty years or so. Or is it that we have just noticed them since Patrick White won the Nobel Prize? Would you believe they used to be referred to as ' Commonweath Writers! '. Toffee nosed English gobshytes! Best wishes, Slante! | got me Written by fellpony (1580 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | I liked the vernacular - because it was done so well. You have a real ear for the spoken language. Nothing rang false, so despite the large number of apostrophes I sailed along with the narrator. I think you've got a useful viewpoint here - a boy who is young enough not to be actively involved but old enough to know what is going on. I guess since it's autobiographical, you were this age yourself; which will hold the viewpoint steady. I was tickled by this: "...gravely preoccupied with the fearless enforcement of our nation's laws. ' Two Jacks an' a Queen. I'll see yous an' I raise yous four, Joe.'" It perfectly summed up the attitude of the Gardai. Phil and Fledermaus and Jane have picked up on other points that don't need to repeat | Wow Gerard! Written by flook123 (35 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | I'm with the others on this. A really powerful piece of writing from a gifted and talented writer right on top of his game. I have to admit I struggled at first with the idiomatic turn of phrase but once you get into it like Fellpony says it just sails along. Was a bit punch drunk by the finish but what a ride! You do have the most uncanny ear for dialogue. The opening was really fantastic with the break of dawn and the rabbits, such innocent creatures, yet so darkly involved. Great symbolism. Fantastic. Lance | Majestic Boyo! Written by woody44 (774 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | Nice to see you in top form again Gerard. I think it has all been said here,and by greater minds than mine. As you know I am a great fan of the Irish author William Trevor and reading your piece brings it starkly home to me how his gentle prose and stories lend themselves NOT to be written in the vernacular, but yours, by virtue of its content, screams out for a `natural voice`. This you have given the piece in spades. Your command of dialogue makes the whole story read seamlessly. Personally I think it cries out to be done as a monologue (another of my favourite genres) but as you say, leave it to the publisher. Brilliant stuff Gerard and I look forward to reading further instalments. Roger | Brutal but truthful. Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | Thank you Sue. I think the viewpoint - that of a far from disinterested youth - is crucial. It lends immediacy; while allowing the detachment of the narrator. In the second part I will deal with the assassination of Lenny McGreal and my father's funeral. That will make up the Prologue. Thereafter the story will begin in 1920 and continue for around nine chapters. You walk a fine line line writing somehing like this. Too much fiction and you begin to betray your subject. Too heavy a reliance on fact and the thing can become bogged down in detail. As I said. All the senarios are for real. Its just that I have disguised them. There are some brutal episodes; but then such is life. I am glad you enjoyed it. Bit removed from the Cumbrian Fells; but your appreciation is always welcome. Slainte!
| Long time no see... Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | How do Woody! Long time no see! Yup, plumb right there. William Trevor it ain't. Mind, after my whirlwind prose might be nice to relax with some of Trevor's gentle, timeless coaxing. Nice to hear from you. How's life in the real world? Had any luck with those scripts? Up an' at it lad. Don't forget: You're along time dead! Glad you liked. More later. In about a month, or so. Slainte! | Ta David! Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | Hey Coosh!. Many thanks for the lengthy PM. Didn't realise you knew so many long words! Will reply as soon as I have a mo. Slainte! | Written by coosh (844 comments posted) 26th October 2007 | Aha! It would have been a lot shorter if they hadn't automatically censored every expletive with the words [please refrain from the use of obscenties in your private mail]... but there are only so many ways to say Manchester United. My best regards. | Stumped for words..... Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 27th October 2007 | Thank you, David. Your impertinence has been noted. I shall retire and consider a suitable response. Outraged. Saffron Walden. Slainte!
| Ooops! Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 27th October 2007 | I almost forgot. Thanks Lance. I see you have lost none of your effusivness. Please give my regards to your sister. I do hope she is enjoying life at Cambridge. I was up at Sidney Sussex myself about a week ago. I did think of her peering out over that folorn Quad at Fitzwilliam. Yup. I will be posting a second concluding piece. Slainte! | Hi Gerard Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 28th October 2007 | It's so good to see your work posted here again. And as the others have said, what a wonderful piece it is. I read it yesterday and wondered how I could possibly say anything that would be of use to you. But for what it's worth - here goes. The beginning section - starting with "See Dawn-- is absolutely beautiful - descriptive and poetic and emotional. My favourite part is the conversation between your dad and the policeman. I can't really get my head around the fact that this is autobiographical. It makes the rest of our family history pieces seem very tame indeed. As far as the vernacular - if I can understand and appreciate it, I think you won't have much trouble. And the Americans who choose to read it, will be happy with it the way it is. | Touche Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th October 2007 | Many thanks Jean. Your comments are always worth waiting for. It is true we have both of us so utterly different experiences of family. Yet family nonetheless. And each experience is as true and as wonderful as when Adam touched Eve. Slainte! | Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 28th October 2007 | This seems to have a resonance with other genres such as gangster movies and westerns - particularly with the dark humour and the brutal disregard some of the characters have for human life. I'll have to admit I did have some difficulty with the vernacular but it was well worth the effort. It's a very powerful piece with natural dialogue and the end left me wanting to read more. Cheers, Ben | From Gerard. Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th October 2007 | Thank you Ben. You walk a fine line when fictionalising fact. Half of irish society wishes to forget the Republican genesis of the Free State. The other half is only too happy to romanticise it. I am trying to remain detached; aloof even. 'It happened. Learn to live with it' , would be my take. The problem with writing about Ireland's recent past is that the Civil War polarised opinion much more than is evident at a glance. Irish society today is a product not of British colonialism but of civil conflict. Writing about it opens old wounds that have begun healing through economic successand the distraction of European membership. I grew up 'in the shadow of a gunman '; but for all that my upbringing was perfectly normal - happy home life; school; university, etc. Perhaps beneath the surface it was different.... But was it!? Wasn't it just a 'Republican' childhood....? Whatever. I am encouraged by the response of yourself and others and I shall certainly post the concluding other half when I have a moment. Thanks again for your comments. Slainte! | Hello Gerard Written by libbylaw (7 comments posted) 28th October 2007 | Hi Gerard. Talk about spilling the family secrets! Great read and the venacular didn't bother me at all. Hope you have luck with the publishers. Luv. PS Cambridge is soooooo cool! | From Gerard. Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 29th October 2007 | Thank you libby. I've quite a few secrets more to tell. But probably best saved for another day. Glad you are enjoying your view from the Bridge. Slainte! | Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 27th November 2007 | I appreciate that you don’t want some freshwater guppy tellling (sp: telling) you there is a comma missing in line 203, so how about a sharp old shark offering you some sound advise? If, IF you are serious about pitching this to Penguin (how’s ‘Raise A Glass’ coming along?) you might want to think about writing it in English first, getting all of the spelling up to scratch and then adding the apostrophes. Vernacular is one thing, but words should still be spelt correctly (unless you are trying to infer that the Irish can’t spell? Mm… okay, fair point!!). Actually, you should be very grateful to any GW member who is prepared to give your efforts the once over for spag, because it’s quite a daunting task. I must admit that I gave up about a quarter of the way through and I pity the poor proof reader who has to do twelve chapters! Auxilliary - auxiliary. Riddence - riddance sparkin' - sparklin’ somehtin' - somethin’ Bungelow - bungalow Theit - their Definately - definitely Bloodsoaked - blood-soaked Somthin' - somethin’ Atribute - attribute Their’s - theirs Thats's - that’s Trickey - tricky Forhead - forehead Sclog - ? Jeeeze - jeez Also your use of suspension points (ellipses) is quite bizarre. Usually ellipses are used in a block of three during a sentence/dialogue, or a block of four at the end of a sentence/paragraph/dialogue. NOT sets of nine or ten, or do you believe that adding extra suspension points adds to the suspense? Both you and/or flook (NHS Targets) use ellipses like they are going out of fashion! And exclamation marks!! Me and my shadow!!! Script writers, aye!!?!! As for the story… clearly it’s one for your diehard followers!! * Has the author a record of publication? NO Is this work time sensitive? [Current]. NO Is the text reasonably free from typographic errors/grammatical illiteracy? DEFINITELY NOT! Is this a ghosted submission? Mm… some of the reviews might be!?! * Finally, how childish of you to call people silly names, especially when you have so many yourself……………………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But better a nice piece of fresh toast than a plate of old, dry mashed potato.
| Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 28th November 2007 | No reply, Gerald! What's the matter? Perhaps I should have called myself Saracen, then you might have talked to me. Ooops!! Sorry!!! I forgot!!!! That name is already taken, isn't it!!??!!??!!?? | Written by rui (150 comments posted) 28th November 2007 | | 我看看一个骄横人。做什么? | Big Hit. Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 29th November 2007 | Yes. Well Yes. Well yes. In truth , many thanks for your ' comment ' rui. I can only say what it lacks in effulsiveness'; it makes up for in eloquence. My fondest compliments to you. Slan! |
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