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Shorts
Slow Day at Dead Dog Gulch
By Sir_Nigel
23 October 2007
 

 ‘Yup,’ drawled Zeke, spitting out a fat wad of tobacco juice just missing Hank’s boot, ‘that sure is a dead dog.’
‘Hey these boots are brand new, ya baccy-spittin’ varmint ya.’ protested Hank.
 
‘Yep, dogs don’t come much deader’n that.’ Zeke reflected as he watched a piece of roving tumbleweed blow down the main street.
 
‘So,’ wondered Hank, ‘do you reckon these boots go with this hat? They looked awful nice in the shop but now….well, I ain’t so sure.’
‘Y’know,’ said Zeke, ‘there’s some folks as reckons that dog ain’t dead but it sure looks dead to me.’
Hank bit his lip. ‘But….but about these boots…..’
‘What is it with you and boots?’ growled Zeke irritably. ‘New chaps, a fancy waistcoat, calfskin gloves and how many hats does a man need? Y’know we sure don’t see eye to eye you ‘n’ me. Never once have ye sat and pondered over that there dead dog. Or wondered how far ye can spit tobaccy juice. Or got yerself a darn good horn-swagglin’ at Madame Trixie’s across the way.’ 
‘Well….. y’see, it’s just that… when you said you were lookin’ for a pardner I thought….’
‘What?’
‘Nothin’. Don’t matter.’ 

And they gazed in silent companionship as another piece of tumbleweed slowly passed through town.




Reviews

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 23rd October 2007
Saw this one coming from the off, just about, but very well done all the same. Deputy Dawg style Brokeback Mountain. 
 
Enjoyed this a lot. 
 
Formatting thing: easier to read (and probably more correct) if you'd started a new line for each speaker. 
 
Good to see you back. 
 
Phil 
 
BTW: this may make an effective script.

Written by Asferthecat (834 comments posted) 26th October 2007
I loved it. Short, great atmosphere and characters. An unexpected twist (I didn't see Brokeback Mountain). 
Where was the dawg? Perhaps you should describe the corpse - it would make it easier to picture the scene.

Written by Lizzy (800 comments posted) 26th October 2007
I didn't see the end coming either. 
I liked this and I love the word 'varmint'. 
Lizzy

Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 27th October 2007
Succinct and enjoyable, my kind of story. 
 
All the best, 
Steve.
Horn swaggled
Written by John_O (140 comments posted) 30th October 2007
Hi SN 
this almost qualifies as micro fiction; nice mixing up of the Western genre. 
John_O

Written by bluecity (377 comments posted) 29th March 2008
Yes, I loved your Western style. You really got that off pat. 
 
And a nice twist at the end. I hate the word "partner". One of my characters in one of my (long forgotten) novels comments that partners are for Westerns and solicitors and he had a girlfriend (who he married at the end of the book). 
 
Rosemary 
 

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