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Poetry
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longing
By ericthered
09 September 2005
Your golden iridescent sheen,
Took my soul and wiped it clean.
Your  blue green eyes and midnight locks
Freed my mind from its gilt tin box..
Your large round buxom and milky disposition.
Raised my Hope  to an upright position.
If only I could lie here ad infinitum in your arms.
Instead the spell of reality breaks the charm.
But I close my eyes it’s your face I see.
Burning with sulphurous desire, and need.
Your voice soothes my mind’s sad song.
The touch of your hand smoothes out my wrongs.
Ours was a song that you could never sing.
Instead of being with me you lay with him.
 

Reviews

Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 28th December 2005
i like this, but i think it needs finishing, the ".." at the end doesn't do it justice 
 
"gilt tin box" suggests to me some religious imprisoning, or something formal 
 
in live five, i like the cross-refernce (right word? lol) of physical features with personality attributes, and ad infinitum is i nice change from "forever" or the suchlike. 
 
just one quesiton: where does your username come from? I have seen it before and wondered, nothing personal! 
 
no1butClo x
from RD Larson
Written by RDLarson (10 comments posted) 29th December 2005
I love this poem. It's so sensual and romantic and points out the unfairness of love. I think the ellipsis at the end are unecessary. Just a period would work also. 
 
As for Eric the Red he was a Viking Chief and Norse sailor that first sailed to Greenland o found a colony in 985 and then to the Americas. his son was Leif Ericson. Eric the Red was actually the first discoverer of the New World. 
 
To learn moreThe Norse Crossing

Written by B.D. (82 comments posted) 31st May 2006
Here I was thinking that it's two people that temporarily can't see each other and then the last two lines hit me over the head and I'm left with 'wow' 'oh' 'ow'  
Wonderful poem! And if it's true from your personal experience then you definitely have my sympathy!

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