I must be mad but please see this one through despite of the AABB rhyme and just for once over look the gramma and spelling.
This is really just a little self therapy for me but maybe by putting it on here it may stop somebody somewhere from sending there child to boarding school.
Its half past eight ,your very late
The bell has gone as have your mates
Put on that nasty uniform
Do your hair, get out your dorm
The house mistress is getting near
She'll ring that bell right in your ear
Its really nearly ten to nine
And nine o'clock is chapel time
You have to face another day
I know its hard don''t hide away
The teachers may seem very cruel
Don't let them make you look a fool
You only have another year
Keep your head, control the fear
You cannot spend your life asleep
You'll end up on the rubbish heap
Come on get up and run, don't crawl
One day you'll leave this boarding school!
Over twenty years have since gone by
And boy those years did really fly
I still just want to hide away
I find it hard to face the day
And in my dreams I'm in that dorm
I wake up safe, but still feel torn
Six years I'd cry myself to sleep
That broken feeling cuts so deep
So alone and so afraid
To protect myself a wall I made
No one then could see my fear
Nor see me laugh, nor shed a tear
I've stayed behind that wall till now
Its fallen down, I don't know how
So now I laugh, but mostly cry
Inside I hurt, but soon I'll fly
Way above my past my pain
And I will feel alive again
But first I know I have to trawl
Through memories of boarding school.
This one's for Kitty, you know who you are!
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Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 29th October 2007 |
I can’t say that I’m a fan of rhyming poetry, but the message carried the piece home. You sound like someone who should be reading Hell’s Angel!! All the best, Steve.
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Steve Written by punchy (372 comments posted) 29th October 2007 |
Thanks Steve , what is Hell's Angel? I know this sounds criminal but I Rarely read books so am rather ignorant. In fact I read my first book at 28 which was by Philip Pulman. Being a late starter I have a lot to learn but I wrote my first poem 3 weeks ago and have written about 24 since so there is hope. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3133 comments posted) 29th October 2007 |
I thought the rhyming helped to put the message across. The easy bouncing rhythm and simple rhyming scheme counterpointed so sharply with the content that it made quite and emotional impact. It must have been an awful experience for you. I have a friend who went to Stoneyhurst which is a religious one and his experiences mirror yours in a lot of ways. So it's not only for Kitty. I always feel more at home with rhyming poetry and remember what one poet said "Blank verse is like playing tennis with the net down" Jane P.S if you want a good laugh read some Tom Holt books |
thanks Written by punchy (372 comments posted) 29th October 2007 |
Thanks Jane, I think all this poetry is good for the soul. I was a wreck writing this one but I do feel better now. My school was Elmhurst Ballet School. It did improve over the years but started out in victorian style. Paula |
Punchy Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 29th October 2007 |
Hell's Angel: Part Two - Up Yours! Look in Sci-fi and Fantasy. All the best, Steve. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3133 comments posted) 29th October 2007 |
I'm afraid poetry has never done much for my soul but then I'm not a poet. Chacon a son do dah, as the french say. Myabe for a bit of balance you could write something funny, God knows we are short of female comics on the site,it's theraputic too. I wonder was your school in Mark Cross near Crowborough the name rings a bell. |
Bottleblondesurfer Written by punchy (372 comments posted) 29th October 2007 |
Camberley in Surrey, but now it is in Birmingham it feeds the Birmingham royal Ballet and the surrey one was bulldozered to the ground (shame I missed that)! I tried a couple of funnyish ones but no reviews so I got scared and withdrew them, but Ill try again! Paula |
Written by fellpony (1507 comments posted) 30th October 2007 |
Having read this and your comments on your other boarding school piece, I feel very sorry for you. I hope, first of all, that writing the two pieces helped you, and second, that those who were responsible for making talented children's lives a misery got every punishment that was available. I wonder, though, whether it might make a better piece of writing if you posted a fuller account in prose, in the Non Fiction section. Working the facts into rhyme as you do here moves them towards abstraction. Although perhaps that helps you personally, it doesn't make as strong an effect on the reader. I'm talking about improving the writing rather than the therapy; not trying to be harsh Incidentally you couldn't have made a much better start to your reading than Mr Pullman, who is one of the best! |
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