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By patterjack
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01 November 2007 |
Helpfully emended
Mealtime Chatter
From the quickfire ripostes of family conversations
while overlong meals are shared at the dining table,
I remain withdrawn, as far as I am able;
and persist as a core of silence among the relations.
That silence flickers with minor hesitations,
while heard logic teeters, seesaws, grows unstable;
variant groups yield to extraneous temptations
and tumble from illogic into family fable.
That silence some watchers may indeed mislabel
as a symptom of a social abdication
and yet, withal, the system continues stable;
it is my silence that is the aberration.
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Written by punchy (446 comments posted) 1st November 2007 | very good, you'd be best to keep quiet at my dinner table for nobody would understand what you were saying ( aberration,extraneous).
We'd be passing the dictionary with the salt!
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Written by Phil (6549 comments posted) 1st November 2007 | I liked this very much. It appears to turn on itself. Once, seemingly critical of empty chatter and then, apparently, self critical. Family dynamics are always complex - and I've no doubt I may be off the mark here - but the circular nature reflects the thought process of choosing to remain silent.
I didn't notice the rhyme until the last verse on the first read. I like rhyme, but I don't like to be hit over the head with it. This subtle scheme worked well for me.
Phil
| Hi Brian
Written by jean.day (2231 comments posted) 2nd November 2007 | | I too enjoyed reading this, and am wondering, if you, so clever with your pen, are somewhat less forthcoming vocally. Or perhaps it is that the noise of meaningless chatter annoys you so much that you feel that if you contribute, what you way will somehow be taken as criticism of what has gone before. | Borborygmus
Written by patterjack (1133 comments posted) 2nd November 2007 | Thank you all for your responses , as well as those who used the pm option.
Pretty well on target Phil -- and I was feeling bitter.
so clever with your pen, is a great compliment , Jean, and much appreciated. At gatherings , I am becoming more and more noise sensitive , and prefer to emulate the wise old owl, even though lacking in real wisdom.
Words are my love , punchy.
patterjack |
Written by punchy (446 comments posted) 6th November 2007 | | I didn't mean to mock your wide vocab just wish mine was as vast. I really liked your poem and I could very much relate to it depite the need to checkout a couple of meanings. I have a couple of family members who choose to withdraw from dinner table chitchat but it makes the rest of us feel extremely uncomfortable and slightly dull. Great subject for a poem, one that everybody young or old can relate to, and much more interesting than the weather! | No problem
Written by patterjack (1133 comments posted) 6th November 2007 | And no offence taken . I am glad it made a meaning to you , punchy
Thank you
patterjack |
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