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Shorts
Infidelity
By teddy
08 November 2007
Comments much appreciated. Thanks.

I was only twenty-one when I met him. With some twelve years extra life-baggage, sturdily handsome and a spark of wit in his eyes, it didn’t take him long to chase away all the glorious ambitions I’d excitedly loaded myself up with when, freshly graduated from the architectural school, I joined my dad’s practice.
 ‘Nice guy,’ my dad had warned me, ‘but be careful, girl, he’s got an eye for the ladies.’
Rubbish, I rushed to brush-off his worries, my Mike’s nothing like that. By the next autumn, we were married, another few months on and I was expecting our first child.
Now, ten years and another two kids later, as I’m standing with my back tensely slanted against the study door, a ready-to-overflow bucket of tears jammed somewhere at the back of my eyes, I can’t stop thinking I must’ve been blind all this time.
From behind his desk, Mike’s staring at me confused.
‘Well,’ I can’t restrain the tremor in my voice, ‘are you, Mike?’
Leaning back in his chair, he takes off his glasses and squints at me. ‘Honey! What are you talking about? What affair?’
His answer rubs more salt into the wound. Hypocrite! Until this morning, I’d had my doubts, but nothing concrete. Last minute, business allegedly, trips to Brighton, secretive phone calls suddenly terminated every time I’d come near him, his stubborn refusal to join me and the kids on my family’s annual fishing trip this summer... I mean, ok, a week with my parents and their other offspring’s family can turn into a bit of a nightmare when stuck with them on a boat in the middle of nowhere, but it’s traditional and he knows the kids love it.
‘Who’s Mary-Anne Washbrook?’
Under my grimly scrutinising eyes, his face changes colour.
 
‘How,’ he gulps deeply, ‘did you find out about her?’
I glare at him. ‘I might have strayed away from any intellectual work for the last ten years being busy looking after you and the kids, but I can still read a bank statement, you know,’ I say bitterly, fluttering in the air the sheets of paper my hand’s had hidden behind my back. Four payments of five thousand pounds each wandered off from our joint account in less than three months.
‘I’m sorry,’ he mutters with an awkward look in his eyes, which says it all.
My stomach churns in horror, my legs go jellylike.
Sorry? Is this all he has to say? Bastard! For a second, I feel like plunging my nails into his face to give him something to feel sorry about. The next one, I break down in shuddering sobs.
‘Honey!’ He jumps off his chair; his arms tighten around me when I struggle to push him away.
‘I thought you love me,’ I snivel resignedly a moment later.
 
‘Shhhh,’ he smoothes my hair, ‘of course I do.’
‘Then why?’
‘Dunno.’ He shrugs. ‘You weren’t meant to find out like this,’ he carries on bluntly, stretching across the desk and turning his laptop towards us, an arm still looped around my waist, ‘but, you tell me, how could I’ve possibly resisted her?’
Through wet lashes, I stare, speechless, at the picture displayed on the screen and a deep sigh escapes my chest. She looks stunning as she is shamelessly exposing her slender naked beauty to the sun, her name, Mary-Anne, artistically tattooed across her body.
‘You wait until I tell the kids,’ I snuggle up to Mike’s chest, the tears glimmering on my face all merged into a big smiling one by now. ‘Their own fishing boat? They’ll go mad.’

 

Reviews

Written by Bambam (42 comments posted) 8th November 2007
Nice one! I can imagine the feelings she's going through. Great twist at the end! :-)

Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 8th November 2007
Great. I did expect that he was not having an affair, yet not that it would end this way! 
Gosh... I'm beginning to think that the number of female friends (NOT girlfriends) I have could become a serious problem if I'll ever fall in love if women are that suspicious...
HI Teddy
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 8th November 2007
I was thinking of your charcters in your book as I read this - and then you gave it a nice twist at the end. Maybe you will end the book that way too. I'll have to wait and see. 
 
And yes, to Fledermaus. I think most women would be suspicious of they saw huge chunks of unexplained money going out of their account.

Written by Lizzy (793 comments posted) 8th November 2007
A good twist and you managed to hang onto it to the very last words!! 
Lizzy
hi bambam, fledermaus, jean and lizzy
Written by teddy (240 comments posted) 8th November 2007
many thanks for your comments.  
 
teddy

Written by tpowell (105 comments posted) 8th November 2007
Hi Teddy 
 
Very well written, I didn't see the twist coming and you fooled us until the very last line! 
 
Tracey

Written by johniebg (538 comments posted) 9th November 2007
The title cleverly pushes us into thinking the conclusion ahead so this is a well plotted twist. The prose occasionally stuttered in my mind, I think it feels a little rushed. I know that is what she would have thought so you managed to get the stream of consciousness down well, but as a reader I constantly felt like I was on catchup. Her turn around felt too quick as well, having set her mind that he was cheating I wonder whether the mind having realised would take a few moments to take in the truth. 
 
Refreshing change from the all men are bastards theme. The mention of the kids loving the boat earlier was a real winner come the end.
A twist in the tale
Written by ianhobsonuk (162 comments posted) 9th November 2007
I like a story with a twist in the tale, but I felt there was too much history at the beginning of this one. I’d start from ‘From behind his desk, Mike’s staring...’ Also, why Washbrook? If that’s the boatyard or owner/seller, would the boat name also appear on the bank statement? Perhaps the name Mary-Anne could have been discovered elsewhere, e.g. on a scrap of paper found in a shirt pocket (more incriminating evidence). These are just my thoughts – always trust your own judgment.

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 9th November 2007
I don't think I've read anything of yours before - and I thought this was well written, if a little rushed. A twist is fine but you have to be careful not to mislead the reader. I did feel there were a few to many hints at the beginning for her suspicions to be squashed so easily. Still, everything fitted together well enough in the end. As mentioned, the title is clever and does lead the reader down the path of believing he's being unfaithful. 
 
Phil.
hi tracey, john, ian and phil
Written by teddy (240 comments posted) 9th November 2007
This was supposed to be a tad longer, but I had to chop it down to around five hundred words. It went a little over the limit anyway. I must admit I struggled when choosing what to keep in, perhaps some not the best choices in the end.  
Had the length not been restricted, I would’ve probably ended it with a whisper from Mike revealing that Mary-Anne Washbrook, the owner, hence the name on the statement, was in fact a very respectable seventy-eighty years old lady and the boat named after her by her late husband. Under the circumstances, I had to rely on the reader’s imagination.  
Thanks for the feedback, if I decide to rewrite the story, would definitely bear your comments in mind.  
 
Teddy  

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